How can parents guide children away from posting selfies or videos that compromise modesty without making them feel judged? 

Parenting Perspective 

This can be a sensitive conversation, but it is a crucial one for a child’s safety and self-respect. The goal is to guide their choices from a place of love and protection, not criticism or shame. 

Focus on Protection, Not Criticism 

Frame the conversation around safety and self-respect. You can say, ‘I want to help you protect your dignity online,’ which sounds much more supportive than, ‘That photo is inappropriate.’ The focus should be on protection, not on judgment. 

Teach a ‘Future Viewer’ Test 

Give them a simple tool for self-reflection. Encourage them to pause and ask, ‘Would I be happy for my grandparents or a future employer to see this?’ This helps them to think beyond the immediate desire for likes and comments. 

Offer Positive Alternatives 

Instead of just saying what not to post, suggest positive alternatives. Encourage them to share photos of their hobbies, creative projects, or achievements. This shows that they can still be expressive and engaging online without unnecessary personal exposure. 

Model Respectful Image Choices 

Your example is the most powerful lesson. Let your child see that you also choose to be modest and respectful in the images you share. This demonstrates that these values apply to the whole family. 

When these conversations are handled with care, children learn to see modesty not as a restriction, but as a form of strength and self-respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that modesty (haya) is a comprehensive virtue that protects our honour and dignity. This applies to how we present ourselves in all spaces, including online. 

Guarding One’s Dignity 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzab (33), Verse 59: 

‘O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments…’ 

This reminds us that modesty in our appearance, whether online or off, is a form of protection, a sign of faith, and an act of obedience. 

Protecting from Actions That Lead to Harm 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2516, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you’ 

This teaches us that being conscious of Allah in our actions, including what we choose to post online, is a means of attracting His divine protection from both immediate and long-term harm.