How should parents guide a teen who lies about their screen time or apps used? 

Parenting Perspective 

Discovering that your teenager has been lying about their screen time or the apps they are using can be deeply frustrating and feel like a breach of trust. However, it is important to understand that this kind of dishonesty often stems from a fear of punishment or an inability to self-regulate, rather than from deliberate rebellion. The goal is to correct the behaviour in a way that also strengthens the core values of honesty and accountability. 

Respond Calmly, Not Harshly 

It is crucial to avoid an explosive reaction, which will only encourage more secrecy. Instead, approach them calmly: ‘I noticed that what you told me about your screen use does not seem to match up with reality. Let us talk about why that might be.’ A calm and curious tone opens the door to honesty. 

Address the Root Cause 

Gently ask questions to understand what led them to be dishonest. Was it a fear of losing their device? Was it pressure from friends to use a certain app? Or was it simply a difficulty with self-control? Understanding the root cause makes it easier to solve the problem itself, rather than only punishing the symptom of dishonesty. 

Rebuild Trust Through Accountability 

Explain that honesty is more important than perfection. You could say: ‘If you are honest with us, even when you make a mistake, we can always work together to fix it. Hiding things is what damages trust.’ You can then work with them to reset screen time limits and agree on regular check-ins, allowing them to gradually earn back greater freedom. 

Encourage Self-Reflection 

Help your teenager to recognise their own patterns of behaviour. Ask them reflective questions like, ‘How do you feel after you have spent several hours on that app?’ Teaching them to connect their actions to their consequences helps to build internal responsibility, which is far more effective than simply enforcing external rules. 

By responding to dishonesty with a combination of firmness and compassion, parents can teach their children that honesty leads to support and trust, while secrecy only delays their independence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam strongly and unequivocally condemns lying, while also promoting mercy and gentle guidance when mistakes are made. Parents have a profound responsibility to teach their children that honesty is a core and non-negotiable value of their faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hajj (22), Verses 30: 

‘So avoid the uncleanliness of idols and avoid false statement…’ 

This verse places falsehood in the same category as grave spiritual impurities, reminding us that lying is deeply harmful to one’s faith and must be avoided. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6094, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads to the Fire’ 

This teaching clarifies that even small, seemingly insignificant lies have consequences. It shows that building a consistent habit of truthfulness is the path that leads to goodness and salvation. 

By consistently linking the use of technology to the principle of truthfulness, parents can help their teenager see that honesty is not just about following household rules, but about building a strong character in the sight of Allah Almighty. This teaches them, over time, that responsibility is earned through sincerity, and that even when they make mistakes, choosing honesty will always bring them support and respect.