How can I tell if my child is turning to a screen for comfort instead of me? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child consistently chooses a screen as their primary source of comfort, it can indicate that they are bypassing the emotional support available from you. This behaviour often develops over time, particularly if screens feel more predictable or immediately calming than human interaction. Recognising the signs early enables you to gently guide them back towards finding solace in real relationships. 

Observing a Retreat to Screens After Distress 

When a child consistently reaches for a device after a disagreement, a setback, or a challenging day at school, it can be a method of numbing difficult feelings rather than processing them with you. This immediate turn to a screen may suggest it has become an automatic coping mechanism. 

Noticing a Decline in Emotional Sharing 

A noticeable shift may occur where a child who previously shared their feelings and concerns openly now withdraws to a screen. This change can indicate that the device has become their primary source of solace, replacing the moments of connection you once had. 

Gauging Irritability When Interrupted 

If attempts to engage with your child are met with defensiveness or irritation after they have already sought refuge in a screen, it suggests that the device has become their protected emotional space. This reaction can signal that your interruption is perceived as a disruption to their method of self-soothing. 

By observing these patterns with warmth and ensuring you are available, you can help your child rediscover that your presence offers a far deeper and more meaningful comfort than any device can provide. 

Spiritual Insight 

From an Islamic standpoint, the family unit is designed to be a source of comfort and guidance. The love and mercy that bind families are considered profound blessings from Allah Almighty. Encouraging our children to turn to us, rather than to digital distractions, is a crucial part of nurturing this sacred trust. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 71: 

‘And the believing men and the believing women, some of them are role models for each other; where they encourage (the doing of) positive (moral actions), and forbid (the doing of) negative (immoral actions)…’ 

This verse reminds us that believers are meant to support and uplift one another, a responsibility that begins within the home. This mutual support is the foundation of a strong family. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6011, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The example of the believers in their mutual love, mercy, and compassion is that of a body; when one part of it suffers, the whole body responds with sleeplessness and fever. ‘

This beautiful analogy teaches us that family members should instinctively turn to each other for care and support during times of distress, just as the body functions as one. 

By cultivating an environment of emotional availability and demonstrating genuine empathy, you reinforce the message that you, not a device, are their safest and most reliable haven for comfort.