What should I do if my child starts copying my ‘busy on the phone’ tone in play? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child imitates your ‘busy on the phone’ tone, it is more than just mimicry; it is a mirror reflecting the habits they observe every day. Children use role-play to make sense of their world, and the tone they adopt may be their way of processing moments when you seem emotionally distant. Rather than reacting with guilt, it is best to see this as a gentle prompt for self-reflection. Ask yourself: does my tone of voice change when I am on my phone, and how does that sound to my child? 

Use Play to Teach a Better Way 

You can use this as a light-hearted but intentional teaching opportunity. If your child is pretending to be busy on the phone, join in with their game but model a different kind of behaviour. You could pretend to take a call, speak with warmth and kindness, and then turn to them with your full attention. You could even say aloud, ‘Okay, my important call is finished, now I can focus on you!’. This helps them understand that being busy does not have to mean being dismissive. 

Spiritual Insight 

Our faith teaches us that good character is reflected in all our actions, including the tone of voice we use, and that our manners are of the heaviest weight in the sight of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 19: 

‘And be modest in your attitude and lower your voice (in dealing with people); as indeed, the harshest of all sounds, is the noise of the donkeys….’ 

This advice encourages a gentle and moderate manner of speaking. It reminds us that our tone of voice is a reflection of our inner state, and that even when we are busy, a calm and kind voice is a sign of good character. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4799, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the scale of the believer than good manners.’ 

This beautiful Hadith highlights the immense value of good manners. By striving to maintain a kind and respectful tone even when we are occupied, we teach our children that good character is not something we put on for special occasions, but is a constant state for a believer.