What can I say to my child when I need to be on my device for longer periods due to work or crisis? 

Parenting Perspective 

When you need to be on your screen for an extended period due to urgent work or a crisis, a child can easily misinterpret your focused attention on the device as disinterest in them. The way you communicate during these moments can make the difference between your child feeling ignored and feeling secure and understood. 

Be Honest and Reassuring 

Use simple, honest language to explain the situation, but always pair it with a message of reassurance. You could say, ‘I need to focus on my laptop for a little while to solve an important work problem, but I want you to know that I am still here for you if you need me’. This provides both clarity and emotional security, acknowledging the situation without causing alarm. 

Offer a Clear Time Frame 

If you can, give your child a rough idea of when you will be fully available again. This is not about making a rigid promise, but about giving them a sense of predictability. A simple, ‘As soon as I finish this important email, we can read a story together,’ gives them a visible end point to look forward to and makes the waiting period feel less indefinite. 

Provide a ‘Connection Anchor’ 

Before you turn your attention to your work, take just one minute to create a ‘connection anchor’. This could be a warm hug, a moment of direct eye contact while you explain the situation, or a quick shared activity. These small but powerful acts of connection can ease the sense of being sidelined and reassure your child that they are still your priority. 

Acknowledging your child’s feelings without becoming defensive helps them to understand that your device use is situational and necessary, not a personal preference over spending time with them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that clarity, honesty, and compassion are vital in all our relationships, especially with those who are under our care and dependent upon our reassurance. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ibraheem (14), Verse 4: 

‘And We (Allah Almighty) did not send Messengers except in the language of their nations, so that they may clearly explain to them (why they should believe)…’ 

This verse, while about the prophets, contains a universal principle about the importance of clear, understandable, and empathetic communication. Explaining our actions to our children in a way they can grasp is a part of this wisdom. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones and have respect for our elders.’ 

This hadith reminds us that even in moments of urgency or stress, our children deserve to be treated with gentleness and reassurance. By combining honesty with warmth, you not only preserve your child’s trust during these busy periods but also show them how to navigate responsibilities without losing connection.