My spouse and I also use screens during meals, how can we model change without blame? 

Parenting Perspective 

If children see their parents using screens at the table, it is almost impossible to convince them to put their own devices away. Modelling this change is most effective when it is approached with honesty, teamwork, and a shared family vision, rather than with blame or finger-pointing. The goal is to shift the family culture towards device-free meals in a way that feels collaborative and positive, not corrective. 

Acknowledge Your Own Habit with Humility 

The most powerful first step is to acknowledge your own role in the habit. You could start a family conversation by saying something like, “I have realised that I check my phone too often at the table, and I think it would be wonderful if we all made an effort to be more present with each other during meals.” This immediately shows that the new rule applies to everyone, making it feel like a shared family value rather than a restriction aimed only at the child. 

Frame It as a Positive Family Challenge 

Present the shift as something you are all undertaking together, perhaps even in a fun way. You could introduce a “device basket” where everyone places their phone before sitting down to eat. Framing it as a positive challenge “Let’s see if we can all do this for a week!” creates a sense of teamwork and shared purpose. 

Replace the Habit with Engaging Conversation 

The urge to reach for a device often comes from a lull in conversation. Be intentional about filling that space with connection. Keep the atmosphere lively by sharing interesting stories from your day, playing simple word games like “I Spy,” or making exciting plans for the upcoming weekend. The more enjoyable and engaging the mealtime conversation is, the less anyone will feel the absence of a screen. 

Support Each Other with Gentleness 

Agree as parents to support one another in this new habit. If one of you forgets and picks up a device, the other can offer a gentle, non-critical reminder. A simple, “We’re trying our new rule, remember?” is far more effective than an accusatory tone. This maintains a positive atmosphere and avoids creating a tense dynamic where one parent is policing the other. 

By owning your part in the habit and reframing the change as a shared family mission, you model humility, consistency, and the importance of aligning your actions with your values. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that leading by example is one of the most powerful forms of guidance (tarbiyah). When parents embody the values they wish to see in their children, those values are absorbed far more deeply and willingly. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Saff (61), Verse 2: 

‘O you who are believers, why do you say (to others that) which you do not do (yourself)?…’ 

This potent verse reminds us that for our guidance to have any weight or sincerity, our actions must be a clear reflection of the principles we advocate. 

 It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2038, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

 
‘When one of you eats, let him mention the name of Allah. If he forgets to mention the name of Allah at the beginning, let him say: Bismillah fi awwalihi wa akhirihi (In the name of Allah in its beginning and its end).’ 

 This teaches us that meals are a spiritual act, meant to be taken with remembrance and mindfulness. 

These narrations teach us that mealtimes in the prophetic tradition were cherished opportunities for togetherness, free from unnecessary distractions. 

By modelling the change yourselves, you show your child that making mealtimes screen-free is not a punishment or a rule imposed only upon them, but a conscious family value rooted in gratitude, mutual respect, and the irreplaceable blessing of being present with one another.