How can I help my child talk about feelings of racism or being excluded? 

Parenting Perspective 

Create a Safe Space to Talk 

When a child feels left out because of their skin colour, faith, or background, it can be deeply hurtful. They may not have the words to explain the unfairness they sense and might bottle up their feelings, leading to shame or anger. The first step is to make it clear that your child can always tell you if something like this happens. Use calm words: ‘You can always tell me if someone makes you feel different in an unkind way. It is not your fault.’ 

Listen and Plan a Response 

Listen fully to what they share without interrupting. Acknowledge the wrongness of any unfair words or actions: ‘That was wrong of them. You did not deserve to be treated like that.’ Talk through practical steps they can take, such as staying close to friends, speaking to a trusted teacher, or walking away if they feel unsafe. You can practise gentle but firm phrases they could use if they feel brave enough: ‘That hurts my feelings. Please stop.’ Praise your child for speaking up to you, even if they feel scared. Help them to build pride in their identity. Talk about your family’s roots, your faith, and the qualities that make them strong and kind. Over time, these honest conversations will help your child feel seen and supported, not small or ashamed. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that no person is better than another because of their race or background; our worth is judged by our hearts and our deeds. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘..Indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous…‘

Sharing this Ayah reminds your child that being treated unfairly by people does not change how precious they are to Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2092d, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There is no superiority for an Arab over a non-Arab, nor for a non-Arab over an Arab… except by piety.‘

Teach your child to make a small Dua when they feel excluded: ‘Ya Allah, protect my heart and help me stay strong.’ This gentle prayer reminds them that Allah Almighty sees every hurt, every tear, and every effort they make to stay patient. With your steady guidance, they will learn that unfair words do not define them; their true worth is safe with Allah Almighty, who honours every soul equally.