How can I help my child learn to ask for help? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding the Challenge 

Many children, especially those with special educational needs (SEN), struggle to ask for help. They may fear getting something ‘wrong’, feel embarrassed, or simply not know the words to use. Some children try to manage quietly until they feel completely overwhelmed. Teaching your child to ask for help builds confidence and the trust that they are not alone when things feel too big. 

Model Help-Seeking Behaviour 

Start by modelling this skill in everyday life: ‘I am not sure how to fix this; let me ask Baba for help.’ This shows your child that asking for help is not a weakness; it is a smart and normal part of life. 

Practise and Role-Play 

Practise simple phrases together: ‘Can you help me?’ ‘I do not know, can you show me?’ or ‘I need help, please.’ Use role-play games to make it fun by pretending you are the teacher, a sibling, or a shop assistant they might need to speak to. Praise any effort they make to use these words, even if they whisper or sign them. 

Create a Safe Environment 

Create an environment where it feels safe to ask for help. Try not to snap or shame them for asking ‘too many’ questions. Stay calm and thank them for their honesty: ‘I am glad you told me you need help. That was very brave.’ For non-verbal children or those who find words difficult, use visual cards, simple signs, or picture boards. Some children feel more confident pointing to a ‘Help, please’ card than speaking. 

Keep expectations realistic and offer gentle reminders: ‘If you feel stuck, you can tell me instead of getting upset.’ When you praise their small wins, like asking for help to open a bottle, they build the confidence to ask for support in bigger situations. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that asking for help when needed is not a weakness; it is part of our fitrah to rely on others while ultimately trusting Allah Almighty. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Fatiha (1), Verse 5: 

‘It is You we worship, and You we ask for help.‘

This Ayah reminds us that seeking help is a natural part of our relationship with our Creator, and with each other. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was never too proud to ask for help and always encouraged others to seek support when they needed it. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people.‘

This Hadith Shareef reminds us that kindness includes listening and responding when someone asks for help. 

Make a gentle Dua: ‘O Allah Almighty, help my child trust that they can ask when they need support.’ Reassure your child that seeking help does not make them less capable; it makes them wise and strong. 

With your warm guidance, calm examples, and trust in Allah Almighty’s mercy, your child will, InshaAllah, learn that asking for help is not a burden, but a gift that keeps hearts connected and fears small.