How do I help my child cope when friendships change? 

Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Feelings 

Friendships naturally shift as children grow, but for many—especially those who feel deeply or have special educational needs (SEN)—these changes can feel like a painful loss. Your child might feel confused, sad, or even blame themselves when a friend drifts away or prefers to play with others. It is important to start by listening without dismissing their feelings. Avoid saying, ‘That is just how life is,’ too quickly. Instead, acknowledge their hurt: ‘It feels lonely when someone you care about does not play with you like before.’ 

Explain That Friendships Evolve 

Explain gently that friendships can come and go, and that this does not mean your child is unlovable or did something wrong. Use simple examples from your own life if it is helpful: ‘I also had friends who changed schools or found new interests. I felt sad too, but I eventually found new friends who understood me better.’ 

Focus on Finding New Connections 

Encourage your child to focus on what makes a good friend. Talk about kindness, honesty, and respect. If possible, help them find new ways to connect with others through small playdates, community groups, or hobbies they enjoy. Remind them that making new friends does not mean forgetting old ones; our hearts can grow wide enough for new bonds. 

Letting Go of Blame 

Support your child in keeping their memories positive. If a friendship ends on a sour note, help them to let go of blame or resentment: ‘We cannot always control what others do, but we can choose how we respond.’ Praise your child’s courage when they reach out to someone new; every small step builds confidence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam recognises the value of sincere friendships and reminds us that connections come and go according to Allah Almighty’s perfect wisdom. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqan (25), Verse 27: 

‘And the Day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] he will say, Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way.‘

This Ayah reminds us that friendships can either bring us closer to truth or lead us away from it, and that trusting Allah Almighty’s plan is key when bonds shift. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ had friends who stayed loyal and others who turned away, yet he ﷺ remained patient and kind-hearted. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people. ‘

This Hadith Shareef reminds us to keep our hearts gentle, even when people disappoint us. 

Teach your child to make Dua: ‘O Allah Almighty, grant me good friends who help me please You.’ Reassure them that each friendship, whether short or long, is a lesson, and that no one is ever truly alone when their trust is in Allah Almighty. 

With your gentle guidance, faith-filled reminders, and steady love, your child can learn that changing friendships do not break them but rather help them grow into someone who can love wisely, forgive easily, and trust Allah Almighty’s plan for their hearts.