After a fight, should we show our child that we have made up, or is it better to keep emotional matters private? 

Parenting Perspective 

Yes, it is both healthy and vitally important to show your child that you and your spouse have reconciled after a fight, as long as this is done with calm and age-appropriate transparency. Children are incredibly perceptive and can feel the tension of a conflict even if it happens out of their sight. If they sense emotional withdrawal between their parents but never get to witness the repair, it leaves a dangerous emotional gap. They may continue to worry, or even blame themselves, for the unresolved tension. By allowing your child to see that you have reconciled, through gentle words, a warm tone, or small gestures of affection, you reassure them that a relationship can survive conflict and heal with effort. This does not mean sharing the details of the argument; it means making the emotional closure visible. This teaches them that conflict is not the end, but simply something that can be worked through. 

Modelling repair, not reliving conflict 

You could say something as simple as, “Mummy and Daddy had a disagreement earlier, but we have talked about it and we are okay now.” You can also let them observe small, authentic signs of warmth returning, such as a shared laugh or a moment of peaceful teamwork. This restores their sense of safety and teaches them a vital lesson: that strong relationships are built not on perfection, but on respect and repair. What a child sees after the fight often matters more than the fight itself. The message they internalise becomes, “Even when things get hard, my parents know how to find their way back to each other.” That quiet lesson will profoundly shape how they approach their own relationships for years to come. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places profound importance not only on emotional restraint during a conflict, but on the sacred act of reconciliation that follows. Just as we seek forgiveness from Allah after a mistake, we are encouraged to actively seek peace within our homes. Conflict itself is not inherently damaging; it is the unresolved tension, cold silences, and unspoken hurts that truly wound the heart of a family. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 1: 

‘…So seek piety from Allah (Almighty), and correct all matters (in the relationships) between yourselves… ‘

This divine command to “amend that which is between you” perfectly reflects the Islamic emphasis on reconciliation, not just as a private act but as a necessary step in restoring the emotional fabric of the home. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2509, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Shall I not tell you what is better than the rank of fasting, prayer, and charity?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Reconciling between people. ‘

This profound hadith powerfully underscores the high spiritual station of healing relationships, a principle that applies most intimately within the quiet corners of family life. By allowing your child to witness this emotional repair, not through dramatic displays but through a gentle presence and a restored connection, you teach them that love is resilient. You model the very essence of an Islamic family life: one where mercy, respect, and reconciliation are not just virtues to be discussed, but principles to be lived, visibly and consistently.