My child saw us argue, and the next day started being extra helpful and ‘good’. Could they be trying to prevent another fight? 

Parenting Perspective 

Yes, absolutely. When children witness conflict between their parents, they often respond with behaviour rather than words. A sudden shift into being overly helpful, unusually obedient, or excessively cheerful is frequently their silent attempt to restore harmony. This is more than just a desire to please you; it is a profound coping mechanism. Your child may be internalising the belief that, “If I am good enough, maybe they will not fight again.” While their intentions are pure, this response places an emotional pressure on them that they are far too young to carry. 

The most effective way to ease this hidden burden is to gently acknowledge what happened and explicitly separate it from their behaviour. You could say something like, “The argument yesterday was between the grown-ups. It had nothing to do with you, and it is not your job to fix our feelings.” It is also helpful to appreciate their kindness on its own terms, not as a tool for peacekeeping: “It is so lovely how thoughtful you are.” Furthermore, remain mindful of your own energy, as children are masters at mirroring what is left unspoken. When they consistently see you model a calm tone, respectful repair, and genuine emotional safety with your spouse, they will learn that while conflict can be a part of love, it is never their responsibility to manage. 

Signs Your Child Might Be Trying to Keep the Peace 

• Becoming overly helpful or eager to please, well beyond their usual behaviour. 

• Avoiding certain areas of the house or seeming to “walk on eggshells” emotionally. 

• Using excessive cheerfulness or forced smiles in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

• Repeatedly checking in on your emotional state with questions like, “Are you okay now?” 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, children are an amanah (a sacred trust), and a central part of upholding that trust is protecting them from emotional burdens they are not equipped to handle. While disagreements are a part of life, it remains our duty to shield their hearts from the heavy weight of adult conflicts. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahreem (66), Verses 6: 

‘O you who are Believers, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire (of Jahannam) whose fuel is people and stones… ‘

This command is understood to encompass not only physical protection but also spiritual and emotional safeguarding, which includes ensuring the home does not become a place of fear or chronic insecurity. 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 7138, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock. ‘

Your child is a cherished part of your flock. Reassuring them, teaching them through your actions, and preserving their innocence after they have witnessed strain is a sacred responsibility. The most profound way to love them in these moments is to unburden them. Let them know, through your words and deeds, that creating peace is your job, never theirs.