My child keeps asking, ‘Are you and Baba okay?’ days after a loud fight. How do we give honest reassurance without faking harmony? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child repeatedly asks if their parents are okay, it is a strong indication that the emotional residue of the conflict is still lingering for them, even if the moment has passed for you. Children do not require perfect parents; they require visible repair. Simply resuming the daily routine or pretending everything is fine can leave them feeling uncertain and emotionally unsafe. Their question is not just about you; they are really asking, “Is it safe for me to feel secure again?” That reassurance must be both emotional and visible, offered through genuine connection, not faked harmony. 

You do not need to pretend the fight did not happen, nor should you burden your child with the details. A simple, honest response can provide clarity without creating anxiety. For example: “Yes, we had a very difficult moment, but we are working through it. The most important thing for you to know is that we both love you very much, and we are committed to each other.” This should be followed by small, observable gestures of reconnection, such as sitting together, sharing a laugh, or praying as a family. These actions show your child what repair actually looks like. Children learn from what they see modelled repeatedly. The aim is not to shield them from all conflict, but to teach them that people can endure difficult moments and still return to a state of love, respect, and mutual responsibility. 

How to Offer Honest Reassurance 

• Use calm and clear language, for instance, “Yes, we had a disagreement, but we are okay now.” 

• Reunite in your child’s presence through normal, everyday routines. 

• Avoid theatrical displays of affection; let your connection show in small, authentic ways. 

• Welcome their questions while setting boundaries, clarifying, “You are safe, and this is not a worry you need to carry.” 

Spiritual Insight 

The act of emotional repair is not a sign of weakness; it is mercy in action. According to the Islamic vision, the family is meant to be a source of sakeenah (tranquillity), not a place of fear or unresolved tension. This peace is not defined by the absence of hardship, but by the active presence of compassion and responsibility. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verses 21: 

‘…And designed between you love, tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation. ‘

This verse reminds us that affection (mawaddah) and mercy (rahmah) are not abstract ideals. They are visible, intentional actions that leave a profound spiritual imprint on the hearts of our children. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who overcomes others by force, but the one who controls himself in anger. ‘

When children witness their parents owning their emotions and demonstrating repair after a conflict, they learn that true strength lies not in silence or pretence, but in humility, care, and the sincerity of returning to one another. That is the fertile soil in which deep emotional safety grows.