When a crisis hits, we either blame each other or go silent. Our child starts misbehaving every time. Could this be emotional spillover? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding Emotional Spillover 

Yes, what you are witnessing is very likely emotional spillover. When a crisis happens and parents blame each other or withdraw in silence, children absorb the stress, even if no harsh words are said directly to them. Young minds interpret the emotional temperature of the house as a cue to their own actions. Misbehaviour, tantrums, or sudden clinginess are frequently not defiance, but rather a type of emotional release – their way of communicating, ‘Something feels wrong, and I do not know how to name it.’ 

A Strategy to Interrupt the Cycle 

To interrupt the cycle, you do not have to be flawless; you just need to be there. The first step is to acknowledge the tension: “We are both upset right now, but we are working on it together.” This provides emotional protection for your child. Second, consider how your crisis reaction could transition from blame or avoidance to connection. Instead of silence or blame, consider stating, “I understand we are both overwhelmed, let us take a moment and return to this kindly.” This strategy not only teaches conflict resolution, but it also teaches your child that stress does not have to mean detachment. When children observe rupture followed by repair, they learn resilience rather than dread. 

Spiritual Insight 

During difficult times, how we treat one another becomes a spiritual choice. Despite facing various crises, the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never used personal adversity to justify emotional injury. His character remained mild, particularly at home. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

Patience is not a lack of emotion. It is the ego’s restraint in the midst of adversity spiritual strength that holds a family together during storms. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6116, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not become angry. ‘

This hadith reminds us that restraint is not a weakness, but rather a path to reward. When children see their parents choosing mercy over accusation and tolerance over silence, they learn to seek solutions rather than scapegoats. That modest lesson may take them through far worse storms than the one they are witnessing right now.