Our child sees one of us praying regularly, but not the other. How do we explain that without weakening their understanding of commitment? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child observes inconsistency in their parents’ acts of worship, it can create confusion about the importance of those duties. It is vital to address this with honesty, unity, and a focus on faith as a personal journey. 

Frame Faith as a Personal Journey 

Explain to your child that every person’s relationship with Allah is their own journey, with its own strengths and struggles. You can say, ‘Mummy and Daddy are both on our own paths with Allah. Sometimes one of us finds it easier to be consistent, but we are both always trying to grow’. This frames the situation in terms of individual growth, not parental failure. 

Encourage Curiosity, Not Comparison 

If your child asks directly why one parent prays more, answer honestly but without blame. The more consistent parent could say, ‘Prayer helps me feel calm and connected, and I love that feeling’. The struggling parent could add, ‘I am working on being more consistent too’. This models humility and acknowledges the effort involved in worship. 

Create Moments of Shared Spiritual Practice 

Even if one parent struggles with salah, you can create other moments of spiritual unity. This could be making dua together as a family each night, reading a story of the Prophets, or participating in a charity project. These shared activities show the child that you are united in your core spiritual goals, even if your daily practices differ. 

Model Accountability and Growth 

The parent who is struggling can be a powerful role model by being open about their intention to improve. Saying, ‘I am going to make a special effort to pray with the family this evening,’ and then following through teaches the child that faith is not about being perfect, but about sincere and continuous effort. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values sincere intention and mutual encouragement, recognising that every believer is on their own path of growth and that consistency is the key to success. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah As Saff (61), Verses 2–3: 

‘O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? It is most hateful to Allah that you say what you do not do…‘ 

This verse underscores the importance of aligning our words with our actions. When a parent acknowledges their struggle with consistency and then makes a visible effort to improve, they demonstrate integrity and teach their child the importance of striving to live up to one’s beliefs. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the best deeds are the most consistent ones. 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, 6465, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of deeds to Allah is the most regular of them, even if it is little.‘ 

This hadith is a source of great encouragement. It teaches that the parent who prays regularly is demonstrating a quality deeply beloved by Allah. It also provides a gentle path forward for the parent who is struggling: begin with small but regular acts of worship. This frames faith not as an all-or-nothing race, but as a journey built on steady, sincere steps.