We both love our child, but we rarely show appreciation for each other’s parenting. What are some practical ways we can correct this? 

Parenting Perspective 

When parents do not openly appreciate each other, a child may sense a lack of unity, and the parent who feels unseen can become emotionally drained. Building a culture of mutual appreciation is key to creating a harmonious home and modelling what a supportive partnership looks like. 

Offer Small, Sincere Compliments 

Make a conscious effort to notice and acknowledge the good things your spouse does. It does not need to be a grand gesture. A simple, specific comment like, ‘I really appreciated how patiently you handled that meltdown earlier; I saw how it helped him calm down,’ makes your partner feel seen, valued, and respected. 

Create a Ritual of Appreciation 

Embed appreciation into your daily or weekly routine. This could be as simple as taking a moment at the end of the day to share one thing you were grateful for in each other’s parenting. This turns appreciation from a random occurrence into a consistent, connecting habit. 

Acknowledge Effort, Even During Disagreements 

Even when you disagree on a parenting strategy, you can still find something to appreciate. You could say, ‘I know we see this differently, but I can see how much you care about finding the right solution’. Acknowledging their good intention and effort, even in conflict, maintains emotional safety and mutual respect. 

Encourage Your Child to Express Gratitude 

Foster this value in your children by modelling it for them. You can also gently prompt them, ‘Wasn’t it kind of Daddy to help you with your project? Do not forget to thank him’. When a child hears their parents appreciating each other and is encouraged to do the same, gratitude becomes a core family value. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that expressing gratitude for the good in people, especially our family members, is not just good manners, but a profound spiritual practice. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An Nahl (16), Verse 114: 

‘…And be grateful for the favour of Allah, if it is [indeed] Him that you worship…‘ 

One of the greatest favours Allah bestows upon us is a righteous and supportive spouse. Expressing gratitude to your partner for their efforts in parenting is a direct way of showing gratitude to Allah for this blessing. It transforms a simple “thank you” into an act of worship. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ established a clear link between thanking people and thanking Allah. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, 4811, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who does not thank people, does not thank Allah.‘ 

This profound hadith teaches us that our gratitude to our Creator is incomplete if we fail to show appreciation to the people through whom His blessings reach us. When you sincerely thank your spouse for their parental efforts, especially in front of your child, you are not just strengthening your marriage; you are modelling the very essence of a grateful and faithful heart.