Are boys and girls supposed to develop at the same rate in the first 7 years? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding General Gender Trends 

While boys and girls generally pass through similar developmental stages in the early years, the timing and way they achieve these milestones can vary. On average, girls may show quicker progress in areas like speech, fine motor coordination, and emotional expression. Boys, in many cases, may develop gross motor skills such as running, jumping, and climbing earlier. But these differences are subtle trends, not fixed laws. What matters far more than gender is the individual child’s temperament, home environment, quality of caregiving, and life experiences. 

The Dangers of Comparison and Labelling 

Development is not a race, and comparing children, especially across genders, can do more harm than good. One child may speak fluently by two, another may speak less but build elaborate structures with blocks. Labelling children based on perceived gender norms can unintentionally narrow their potential and limit how they see themselves. 

Celebrating Holistic Growth 

It is essential to approach development with an open and patient mindset. Celebrate small victories, not just in academic or physical achievement, but in kindness, problem-solving, creativity, and resilience. Emotional intelligence, curiosity, and inner security are just as important as any other milestone. 

Focusing on the Individual Child 

Attentive parenting means tuning into the individual, rather than forcing them into standardised roles or comparisons. Instead of focusing on who walks, talks, or counts first, focus on whether your child feels loved, understood, and safe to explore who they are. When a child is given the space to grow without pressure or bias, they are far more likely to develop confidence, compassion, and clarity in their own identity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other… ‘

This verse affirms the shared origin of all human beings, male and female, while also recognising diversity as a sign of divine wisdom. It calls for mutual respect and understanding, not comparison or superiority. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2780, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Women are the twin halves of men. ‘

This Hadith Shareef is a powerful reminder of the spiritual and human parity between the sexes. Islam honours the individual value of each child, regardless of gender. There is no superiority in being male or female; excellence lies in character, Taqwa, and sincerity. 

As Muslim parents, this means raising both sons and daughters with equal care, support, and belief in their potential. True Islamic parenting honours the balance between celebrating diversity and upholding the unity of all creation. When we parent with this understanding, we offer our children the freedom to grow in the light of both love and justice.