How can I involve my child in the repair process in a way that feels empowering for them, not forced?

Parenting Perspective 

Repair as a Collaborative Process 

Repair is something a parent builds with their child, not just what they do to them. Encourage your child to participate in the healing process after a rupture. What would make you feel better? or You want to talk, draw, or do something with me? Even if they simply provide a few steps, let their voice influence the situation. For example, What do you think could help us both calm down the next time I feel frustrated? This gives individuals the ability to engage rather than merely conform. It reads: Your thoughts and feelings are valued here. 

Honouring Their Voice 

Children must learn that their parents are not just willing to fix problems but also that they are involved in putting things back together. Younger children might choose nonverbal communication, such as playing together, giving hugs, or assisting you with a basic chore. Children who are older may like to reflect out loud. In any case, being present without exerting pressure is crucial. Mutual trust is increased when repair is co-created. Your child discovers that healing is a two-way process and that conflict does not equate to alienation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Consultation and emotional dignity, especially with the youngest members of the community, are highly valued in Islam. Allah Almighty praises those who engage in mutual respect and decision-making in Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 38: 

“…And conduct their affairs between each other through consultation…” 

This was profoundly personified by the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. On both big and small issues, he would confer with his friends, and he respected the young people’s viewpoints. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6013, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

“He who is not merciful to others, will not be treated mercifully. “

To be a merciful also means to be seen as capable of thought and dignity. This prophetic model is reflected in involving a child in the healing process. It is a gift of trust rather than a loss of power. Islamic parenting views shared healing as leadership via mercy rather than weakness.