When one of us gets burnt out, parenting becomes lopsided. How do we shift roles without making our child feel like a burden? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of Parental Burnout 

Parental burnout does not usually present with warning symptoms. One parent may gradually lose patience, disconnect, or emotionally withdraw, leaving the other to pick up the slack. When this occurs, the child may readily absorb guilt. They may wonder: Is it my fault Mum is always tired? or Why does Dad not want to be around me? The idea is not only to redistribute responsibilities, but also to safeguard your child’s emotional environment. 

Shifting Roles with Honesty and Teamwork 

Begin by facilitating low-conflict, honest discussions between parents. Avoid blaming language like You never help, and instead try I feel close to burnout, and I need us to adjust things for a while. Discuss which responsibilities can be swapped, postponed, or completed collaboratively – even for a short time. If one parent takes on more responsibilities temporarily, there should be an agreed-upon plan for rebalancing. Never present parenting chores to your child as obligations or sacrifices. Instead, let them witness language of teamwork: Mum is resting today, so I am helping with bedtime, or Dad has a big deadline, let us make dinner together. This approach enables the child to observe the passing of care as a relay baton, rather than its dropping in exhaustion. Also, be proactive in expressing your child love even when times are tough. Short flashes of kindness – a grin, a Dua read aloud for them, a shared moment – demonstrate that their presence is valued rather than disliked. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, both suffering and balance are recognised, but burnout is not disregarded. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

“Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity.” 

This verse reminds parents that even noble roles have limitations. There is no guilt in shifting responsibilities, seeking assistance, or slowing down; what matters is sincerity and mutual caring. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“The strong man is not the one who can wrestle well, but the one who controls himself when angry. “

Burnout frequently manifests as irritation. This Hadith emphasises that strength lies in controlling your inner tide before it harms others, particularly children. Shifting responsibilities is not indicative of weakness. It demonstrates wisdom by keeping the parenting team resilient, the home emotionally safe, and the child comfortable in the love of both parents.