When my child misbehaves, relatives say he is just a child and dismiss it. How do I stay firm without seeming heartless? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Challenge of Being Undermined 

When relatives rationalise your child’s misbehaviour by commenting, He is just a child, it can cause you to doubt your firmness or, worse yet, make your child feel untouchable. Young children are still learning, but they are also very capable of comprehending limits. The term is frequently well-intended, but dismissing obvious disrespect, hostility, or resistance undermines your efforts to guide consistently. 

A Strategy for Maintaining Boundaries 

The goal is to maintain your boundaries without matching their tone. If your child misbehaves and someone excuses it in front of you, be calm and composed. You do not have to fight or justify your parenting. Simply continue your statement to the child: Even small children must learn manners. This is not acceptable, and I am assisting him in realising this. Later, if necessary, communicate with the relative privately. A respectful response could be: I understand you have good intentions, and I appreciate your concern. However, when some behaviours are ignored, it becomes more difficult to teach responsibility. We are trying to raise him with kindness, but also with boundaries he can rely on. Children benefit the most when limits are clearly defined and enforced with calm repetition, even when others disagree. You are not being heartless. You are assisting your child in developing the qualities of respect and emotional security. That is an act of profound love. To stay grounded, keep your discipline brief, tough, and respectful, with no harsh tones or excessive explanations. You can adjust softly while remaining unmoved. This demonstrates to your child and spectators that your parenting is intentional rather than reactive. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours children, but it never justifies bad actions based solely on age. Instead, it teaches Tarbiyyah, or the process of developing character via love, structure, and modelling. Part of that is teaching accountability at a young age in a way that children can grasp. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 17: 

“O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you.” 

This instruction from Luqman to his son demonstrates that even children can be taught spiritual and moral responsibility via love and patience. It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 495, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“Command your children to pray when they become seven years old. “

According to this Hadith, the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ established discipline at a young age by consistent teaching rather than fear. You complete your responsibility with dignity by quietly disciplining your child, even if others downplay the situation. You are not being cruel. You are giving your child the structure they need while adhering to the prophetic paradigm of balanced, loving punishment.