When I need a break, how do I use screens without feeling like I am just avoiding my child?

Parenting Perspective

Every parent needs moments to recharge, and it is perfectly okay to use screens to help create that space. The feeling of guilt or ‘avoidance’ usually arises when screen time is used reactively and without a plan. The key is to shift from using screens as a default escape to using them as an intentional and limited tool within your parenting toolkit.

Shift from Reactive Escape to Intentional Tool

Make the screen time you allow in these moments purposeful. By choosing educational programmes, wholesome content, or interactive games that align with your family’s values, you can reframe the time. It is no longer a moment of passive avoidance for you, but a moment of constructive engagement for them while you take a necessary break. This intentional choice can significantly reduce parental guilt.

Communicate Your Needs with Transparency

Be open and honest with your child about your need for a break. You could say, “Mummy needs some quiet time to recharge for half an hour, so you can watch this programme while I rest.” This direct communication builds transparency and helps them understand that needing a break is a normal part of family life, not a sign of rejection. It models for them that everyone needs to rest sometimes.

Plan the Transition Back to Connection

One of the most important steps is to plan how you will reconnect after your break is over. As soon as the screen is turned off, be ready to intentionally re-engage with your child. This could be as simple as asking them about what they watched, playing a short game, or

starting the next activity together. This crucial step reassures your child that your need for space was temporary and that your presence is reliable.

Diversify Your Break Strategies

To reduce feelings of over-reliance on screens, it helps to cultivate other break strategies as well. Set up a few independent play options that your child enjoys, such as a special box of art supplies, building blocks, or audiobooks. Having a variety of ways to create moments of rest for yourself reduces the pressure on screen time and models for your child that downtime can be enjoyed in many different ways.

Spiritual Insight

Islam promotes a balanced approach to life, encouraging the fulfilment of our duties while also acknowledging the importance of self-care. This is not seen as selfish, but as a necessary part of maintaining our ability to serve others well.

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286:

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’

This verse is a profound source of comfort, reminding us that while we are entrusted with the immense responsibility of raising our children, we are also human. Recognising our own limits and taking short, healthy breaks allows us to return to our parenting role with renewed patience and presence.

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5199, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

‘Your body has a right over you, and your eyes have a right over you’

This powerful hadith establishes that self-care is not a luxury but a God-given right and responsibility. Taking time to rest, even if that involves allowing your child a short and intentional period of screen time, can be part of fulfilling your duty to look after your own health so that you can better care for your family. By framing screen use as a thoughtful tool, you can meet your need for rest without neglecting your child’s need for connection.