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When a father is rarely home, how does that affect a child’s view of trust, love, or leadership? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of Absence 

A father’s consistent emotional and physical presence has a profound influence on the development of trust, security, and leadership in a child. When dad is rarely at home due to job, travel, or absence, the child may come to see leadership as distant and love as transactional. This emotional distance might cause subtle unease, connection gaps, or a dependency on one parent for emotional support. 

Bridging the Connection 

To address this, the emotionally present parent must serve as a bridge. Even in your absence, keep your child interested through scheduled video chats, audio messages for bedtime, or shared traditions like Dua before sleep. Explain to your child that, even though their father is away, he thinks about them frequently and cares profoundly. Encourage your spouse to lead in tiny, consistent moments whenever possible, such as phoning after work before bedtime, sending a voice message after school, or reading a scripture together on weekends. Even a brief exchange can serve to reinforce leadership by virtue of its presence. Help your child articulate feelings: Tell Baba how much you loved that story. He would enjoy hearing it. Remind them that position of authority and love need work, not perfection. Trust evolves over time through intentional interaction rather than continual proximity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Parental leadership in Islam is characterised by both responsibility and love. Children observe leadership not just through authority, but also through presence, empathy, and collaborative guiding. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 17: 

O my son, establish your prayers, and (seek to) promote positivity, and (seek to) diminish negativity; and be patient with what afflictions you come across. 

The verse describes both instruction and patience in leadership. A father may lead from a distance, but the emotional undercurrent, prayer, advice, and encouragement, must continue even in his absence. It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 1532, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

Do not invoke curse on yourselves, and do not invoke curse on your children. 

This Hadith reminds parents that active prayer and hope for the child’s welfare must continue as there is no margin for curse. Love is expressed not only through physical presence, but also through spiritual participation and emotional intention. A father who remains emotionally connected, whether through Dua, prayer, or personal communications, continues to exemplify mercy and care-based leadership. For the child, this creates a deeper, more enduring image of what responsible love genuinely looks like. 

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