When a Child Uses a Device to Avoid Upsetting Emotions 

Parenting Perspective 

If your child’s immediate reaction to feeling upset is to reach for a device, they are likely using it as an emotional shield. While this strategy offers a temporary escape from difficult feelings, it prevents them from developing the crucial life skills of processing and expressing emotions. As a parent, you can gently help them replace this avoidance with connection and resilience. 

Acknowledge the Coping Habit 

Instead of criticising the behaviour, start by simply acknowledging it with empathy. You could say, ‘I have noticed that when something is bothering you, you often turn to your tablet. I can understand why that might feel easier than talking’. This validates their impulse without condoning the habit, making them feel seen, not judged. 

Provide a Safe Emotional Outlet 

Make talking about feelings feel safe and low-pressure. Offer an open invitation for them to share, such as, ‘You do not need to have all the right words. I am just here to listen to whatever is on your mind’. This creates an environment of unconditional support, where communication gradually becomes less daunting than avoidance. 

Offer Alternatives to Devices 

Actively build their toolkit of non-screen coping strategies. Suggest other calming activities like drawing, writing in a journal, listening to Quran recitation, or even just sitting quietly together. By introducing these alternatives, you empower them with the knowledge that they have multiple ways to soothe themselves. 

Model Emotional Expression 

Your child learns how to handle emotions by watching you. Make a habit of verbalising your own feelings and coping strategies in a calm way. For instance, ‘I had a very stressful meeting today, so I am going to take a short walk to clear my head’. This normalises emotions and models constructive responses. 

Through this patient and supportive approach, you can help your child learn a fundamental truth: while a screen offers a temporary distraction, real comfort and healing are found in feeling heard, understood, and connected to others. 

Spiritual Insight 

From an Islamic perspective, emotional difficulties are not meant to be avoided through distraction. They are an invitation to cultivate spiritual strength through patience (sabr), trust in Allah (tawakkul), and seeking comfort through prayer and connection. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 153: 

‘O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient…’ 

This verse provides a clear, divine instruction for facing hardship. It teaches us that the path to relief is not through distraction, but through the twin pillars of patience and prayer, which ensure Allah’s support. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5678, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There is no disease that Allah has created, except that He also has created its treatment.’ 

This profound prophetic statement offers immense hope. It teaches that for every ailment, spiritual or physical, a path to healing exists. Using distraction to avoid our feelings only postpones the discovery of that cure. 

By framing emotional challenges as opportunities to draw closer to Allah, you help your child build a spiritually grounded resilience. They can learn, over time, that true and lasting comfort is found not in hiding behind a screen, but in the strength that comes from faith, family, and facing their feelings honestly.