What’s the best way to avoid battles over tech limits when my child sees friends with more freedom? 

Parenting Perspective 

The ‘but my friends are allowed’ argument is a classic challenge for parents. Responding with empathy and clarity, rather than defensiveness, can turn a potential conflict into a moment of connection and teaching. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings First 

When your child makes this comparison, your first step should always be to validate their feelings. You can say, ‘I know it can feel unfair when the rules are different in other homes.’ Acknowledging their perspective first helps them to feel heard and reduces their need to argue. 

Share Your Family Values Clearly 

Gently explain that every family has its own unique values and approach. You could say, ‘In our family, we have these limits because we want to make sure we have plenty of time for other things, like playing outside and talking together.’ This frames the rule as part of your family’s identity, not just a random restriction. 

Avoid Comparing with Other Families 

Keep the focus on what works for your family, without criticising the rules in other households. When your child sees you respecting that other families can be different, they learn that happiness is not measured by someone else’s rules. This keeps the conversation respectful. 

Offer Appealing Alternatives 

Make sure that the time away from screens is filled with appealing alternatives. Planning a fun activity, like a board game or a creative project, shifts their attention to what they are gaining, rather than what they feel they are losing. 

By approaching the issue with empathy, clear values, and enjoyable alternatives, you reduce the emotional charge and make acceptance more likely. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages us to guide our families with compassion and wisdom, holding firm to our values even when our approach differs from those around us. This method nurtures discipline while strengthening trust. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you…’ 

This reminds us that differences between people and families are natural, and our focus should always be on our own household’s pursuit of righteousness, not on imitating others. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nasai, Hadith 5711, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Leave that which causes you doubt for that which does not cause you doubt.’ 

This teaches us to confidently choose the path that brings our family clarity, peace, and benefit, even if it differs from the path that others take. 

By holding to your own thoughtful limits with kindness and consistency, you model strength, self-respect, and the ability to live by principles rather than pressure.