What works when my child hides behind volume to avoid instructions? 

Parenting Perspective 

You call out to your child, perhaps to come for dinner or to end their screen time, but the volume on their device rises instead. It is not that they cannot hear you; it is that they do not want to. The sound becomes their shield, a way of escaping a confrontation or a demand on their attention. This moment can be deeply frustrating, but the solution is not to issue louder orders, but to use a quieter authority. The key is to help your child see that volume cannot drown out their responsibilities. 

Understanding the Noise 

When a child turns up the volume, they are often expressing more than simple defiance. Sometimes it is an act of avoidance, a clear signal that they do not want to be interrupted. At other times, it can be an expression of a deeper emotion, such as anger or a desire for independence. Recognising what is really going on allows you to respond with a clear strategy, rather than just a reaction. 

The Power of Calm Presence 

It is important never to compete with noise. If your child is playing music or a video loudly, resist the urge to shout over it. Instead, walk closer, lower your own tone, and use your proximity as your strength. A calm parent standing nearby commands far more attention than a distant parent who is yelling. You might say, softly but clearly, ‘I will wait until the music is off. I need to speak with you face-to-face.’ Then, remain silent. That quiet expectancy often carries more weight than any words. 

A Family Rule for Listening 

Instead of only reacting in the moment, you can establish a clear rule during a calm time. You could say, ‘When someone in our family calls your name, all devices and any volume should be paused right away. That is how we show respect for each other.’ Explain that this is not about control, but about clear communication. Inviting their input on how they would like to be reminded can turn a potential point of conflict into an agreement. It is also important to state the consequence calmly: ‘If you turn up the volume when I am speaking to you, it will mean the device goes off completely for a while.’ 

Addressing the Avoidance with Connection 

Sometimes, children use sound to hide from an emotion, such as guilt or stress. If you sense this is the case, it is better to deal with the underlying feeling, not just the noise. When things are calm again, you could say gently, ‘When you turn the music up like that, it feels like you are shutting me out. I would like to understand what is really going on for you.’ This approach can shift the dynamic from one of punishment to one of partnership, transforming a conflict into an opening for trust. 

Modelling Respect for Sound and Silence 

Our own actions can reflect the balance we wish to see. You can model this by lowering the volume on your own device before speaking to your child, or pausing your own activity when they approach you to talk. This shows that turning down the sound to listen is a family value, not just a rule for them. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, sound is a blessing that is meant for remembrance, learning, and connection, not to be used as a wall between hearts. A high volume without a willingness to listen is like speech without understanding. True listening is an act of humility that brings peace to both the speaker and the listener. 

The Quranic Emphasis on Balance 

The Quran teaches moderation and humility, not only in our tone but also in our attitude. Teaching a child to lower the volume when they are spoken to is a mirror of this beautiful principle of restraint. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 19: 

‘“And be modest in your attitude and lower your voice (in dealing with people); as indeed, the harshest of all sounds, is the noise of the donkeys”.’ 

This reminds them that a gentleness in sound is a reflection of a gentleness of the heart. 

The Prophetic Virtue of Listening 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that attentive listening is a spiritual act. When children are guided to lower their volume and to truly hear what is being said, they are not just obeying a parental rule; they are practising a form of mercy. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 1092, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who listens to his brother until he finishes his speech, Allah will protect him from the terrors of the Day of Resurrection.’ 

Every moment they choose listening over avoidance helps to build their character in humility and an awareness of others. 

When your child hides behind a wall of volume, remember that a quiet control can win where a loud correction will fail. Your calm presence and your consistent boundaries teach far more than any lecture could. In time, they will come to see that turning down the volume is not an act of surrender, but one of respect, maturity, and connection. As that habit deepens, your home itself will grow quieter, not from an enforced silence, but from a sense of peace, a peace that is born of voices that can hear one another again with gentleness and with grace.