Parenting Perspective 

Children can sometimes feel worried when they see differences between their parents, their relatives, or even their friends’ families. They may begin to wonder if these differences create a sense of distance, or may start to believe that being the same is what makes love stronger. Your words can help them to understand that true love is not about having identical habits, but is about showing care, building trust, and feeling a sense of connection. By repeating simple, reassuring phrases and by modelling affection in your own life, you can teach them that love is always stronger than our differences. 

Use Simple, Reassuring Phrases 

• ‘Even if different families do things in their own ways, the love they feel stays the same.’ 

• ‘We do not have to be exactly the same as each other to belong together.’ 

• ‘Love means caring for each other, not just copying each other.’ 

Show That Love Continues Through Your Actions 

When your child is able to see you and your spouse sharing a hug after a disagreement, or smiling at each other even when you have different opinions, they will understand from your example that love can continue even in the midst of your differences. 

Highlight Simple, Everyday Examples 

You can say, ‘Mummy likes to drink tea and Daddy likes to drink coffee, but we always love to sit and have our breakfast together. That is because our love is more important than liking the exact same things.’ Linking this lesson to simple, daily examples makes it much more concrete for a child. 

Reinforce Their Sense of Belonging 

You can remind them, ‘You do not have to be exactly like anyone else in order to be loved. You are loved just because of who you are.’ This helps to directly tie their sense of being loved to their innate worth, not to their conformity. 

By using these consistent words and actions, you can show your child that being the same is never the true measure of love; kindness and loyalty are. 

Spiritual Insight 

Unity of Hearts Over Outward Similarity 

Islam teaches us that the unity of our hearts is what matters far more than any outward similarity. Our families are intended to be bound together by mercy and compassion, not by having the exact same preferences or cultural habits. 

Love as a Form of Divine Mercy 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verses 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation.’ 

This verse reminds us that affection and mercy, not a sense of sameness, are the true glue that holds a family together. 

The Value of Brotherhood Beyond Our Differences 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 45, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the love we should have in Islam is something that transcends our differences, and is instead focused on a sincere sense of care and goodwill for one another. By reminding your child that love is about affection and mercy, you can help to root their understanding of family unity in their faith. They will learn that our differences do not have to weaken our bonds, and that it is love, respect, and mercy that truly hold our families together in the sight of Allah.