Parenting Perspective 

Children learn how to value their parents not only from the way that they themselves are treated, but also from the way their parents speak about each other. The act of highlighting your spouse’s strengths in front of your child helps to build respect, reinforce a sense of unity, and model the beautiful quality of gratitude. These kinds of words help to reassure your child that both of their parents are capable guides, each bringing their own unique and valuable qualities into the life of the family. 

Praise Their Specific Qualities 

Instead of using vague compliments, it is more effective to use clear and specific examples. You could say, ‘Your mother is so creative with the stories she tells; she makes learning feel so much fun for you,’ or, ‘Your father is really good at solving problems in a calm way.’ This helps your child to see and appreciate their practical, real-life strengths. 

Link Their Strengths to How They Benefit Your Child 

You can say, ‘Are you not so blessed that your father is able to teach you patience when you are feeling upset?’ or, ‘Your mother’s wonderful sense of organisation is what helps you to get ready on time for school each day.’ Connecting your spouse’s positive traits to your child’s own life helps to make the appreciation feel more meaningful. 

Use a Joint Language of Gratitude 

During your shared family moments, you can say something like, ‘Alhamdulillah, we are so thankful that Allah gave us each other’s different skills to help our family.’ This models a sense of humility and a beautiful team spirit. 

Affirm Their Strengths After Difficult Moments 

If your spouse has just handled a difficult situation well, you can acknowledge it aloud by saying, ‘I really admire the way your father helped you through that homework struggle with so much patience.’ This teaches your child that the strength of their parents is something to be recognised, not to be taken for granted. 

By consistently praising your spouse in front of your child, you are helping them to internalise a sense of respect, gratitude, and an appreciation for the beauty of teamwork within family life. 

Spiritual Insight 

Appreciation as a Reflection of Prophetic Manners 

Islam encourages us to speak with goodness, to appreciate the blessings we have been given, and to highlight the positive qualities in others. The act of valuing your spouse with words of praise in front of your child is a beautiful reflection of prophetic manners. 

The Command to Speak with the Best Words 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 53: 

‘And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.’ 

This verse reminds us that using good and positive words is what strengthens the harmony in our homes and prevents the kind of division that is beloved by Satan. 

Gratitude to People as Gratitude to Allah 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4811, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the act of appreciating your spouse openly is in itself a part of your gratitude to Allah. When you are able to highlight your spouse’s strengths in front of your child, you are helping to nurture love and respect in your home. Your words can become like seeds that grow into a beautiful family culture of gratitude, humility, and unity, protecting your child’s heart from division and teaching them to value both of their parents equally.