Parenting Perspective 

When your relatives express strong opinions about your parenting choices, it can sometimes feel as though they are questioning your judgement. Asking them to trust your chosen path requires very careful wording, which can reassure them of your respect while at the same time affirming your own role as the parents. The key is to make your words feel kind, inclusive, and rooted in a sense of gratitude, so that your relatives can hear your request for trust as a gentle invitation, not as a dismissal. 

Begin with Gratitude 

It is always best to begin with a sincere expression of appreciation by saying, ‘We are so grateful for the love and the care that you show for our children.’ This helps to soften their hearts before you share your boundaries with them. 

Affirm Your Shared Love for the Child 

You can say, ‘We know that you want what is best for them, and of course, so do we.’ This simple statement helps to highlight your common ground, rather than focusing on your division. 

Reassure Them of Your Sense of Responsibility 

You can add, ‘Alhamdulillah, Allah has given us the duty of raising them, and we are trying our very best to do that together.’ Framing your role as a sacred trust from Allah helps to elevate the seriousness of your position as parents. 

Invite Their Trust, Not Their Silence 

Try saying, ‘We would be so grateful for your duas and for your trust as we try to raise them in a way that we feel best suits their needs.’ This shows them that while you value their presence and their prayers, you are gently asking for the space to exercise your own parental authority. 

Maintain a Warm and Steady Tone 

It is important to use calm words and a respectful tone of voice, so that your firmness feels like a sincere and thoughtful conviction, not like an act of rejection. 

By pairing your gratitude with a sense of gentle firmness, your words can reassure your relatives that their love is deeply valued, while at the same time making it clear that your chosen path is one that they can support with their trust. 

Spiritual Insight 

Honouring Elders and Upholding Our Amanah 

Islam teaches us to honour our elders, while at the same time taking full responsibility for the sacred trust (amanah) of raising our own children. Gently asking for trust in your parenting path is a reflection of this beautiful balance between respect and accountability. 

Balancing Respect with Firmness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 24: 

‘And spread over them (your) auspices with humility and mercy; (and plead for them and) say: “O my Sustainer, have mercy (and forgiveness) on both of them, because they have nurtured me when I was a child”.’ 

This verse reminds us of the importance of showing humility and respect to our elders, while at the same time ensuring that we are fulfilling our own duties in a responsible way. 

The Power of a Parent’s Dua 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 32, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The supplication of a parent for his child is like a supplication of a prophet for his nation.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the duas of our elders hold a great weight. Asking them for their prayers and their support, instead of their control, can be a beautiful way of strengthening your family ties. By using words of gratitude, humility, and clarity, you can turn a potential clash into a sincere invitation for partnership. Your relatives can feel honoured, and your child can see a family that is built on trust, respect, and faith.