Parenting Perspective 

It is common for children to receive praise that is tied only to results, such as good grades, winning a game, or completing a chore. While this kind of encouragement is important, if a child’s dignity is only ever affirmed through their outcomes, they may begin to feel that they are only valued when they ‘perform’. Parents have a vital role to play in teaching their children that their true value comes from being loved, from the quality of their character, and from their status as a servant of Allah, not from their achievements alone. The way that you speak, respond to their mistakes, and celebrate their efforts will all help to shape their understanding of where their true worth lies. 

Speak to Their Effort and Intention 

It is important to honour your child’s commitment, even if their results are not perfect. A simple phrase like, ‘I saw how much effort you put into that, and that is what matters most to me,’ can be very powerful. 

Acknowledge Their Positive Character Traits 

You can affirm qualities like their honesty, their patience, or their capacity for care by saying, ‘I love how gentle you were with your brother just now. That shows me what a kind heart you have.’ This helps your child to see that their dignity lies in their values, not just in their victories. 

Emphasise Their Innate, God-Given Worth 

Using words like, ‘You are so precious to me because Allah chose me to be your parent,’ can be deeply reassuring for a child. This helps them to understand that their worth is divinely given and is not conditional on their performance. 

Highlight Their Growth, Not Just the End Result 

Saying, ‘I can see how much you are learning and growing every single day, Alhamdulillah,’ helps to frame your child’s dignity as part of a journey, rather than as a fixed outcome. This teaches them to value the process of becoming, not just the final achievement. 

Offer Reassurance Through Affection and Presence 

You can strengthen your child’s sense of dignity by showing them that your love is constant and does not need to be earned. Simply spending time with them and saying, ‘I love just spending this time with you,’ is a beautiful way to do this. 

Such affirmations help a child to internalise the belief that their identity is secure, which in turn helps to build the emotional strength they will need for both their successes and their struggles in life. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Quran on the God-Given Honour of Humanity 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 70: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have honoured the descendants of Adam; and fostered them over the land and the sea; and provided sustenance for them with purified nourishment; and We gave them preferential treatment over many of those (species) We have created with special privileges.’ 

This verse shows that a fundamental sense of dignity has been granted by Allah to every single human being, and is not something that is tied to our worldly results or achievements. Teaching this can help to ground a child’s sense of worth in this divine honour. 

Prophetic Guidance on Allah’s Regard for Character 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but He looks at your hearts and your deeds.’ 

This hadith affirms that true dignity in the sight of Allah comes from the sincerity of our hearts and the quality of our character, not from our worldly outcomes. By echoing these profound truths in our daily words, we can help our children to carry themselves with a quiet confidence that is rooted in their faith. They will grow to know that whether they succeed or stumble, their dignity remains perfectly intact as beloved servants of Allah.