What to Say When Your Child Asks, ‘Who Takes Care of You?’ 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child asks, ‘Who takes care of you?’, it is a profound moment wrapped in love and concern. Feeling unsure how to answer is understandable, especially if you have shouldered your responsibilities for so long that asking for support feels unknown or even wrong. 

Normalise Small Gestures of Receiving 

Receiving help is not a sign of weakness, it is an act of self-care that preserves your emotional and physical presence for your child. Start by normalising small gestures of receiving. It might be accepting a cup of tea, letting someone run errands for you, or staying seated while others take on your tasks quietly. When someone offers help, practise saying, ‘Thank you, I appreciate this,’ rather than deflecting with guilt. Over time, those small moments teach your child that self-care is part of love, not a luxury. 

Model This with Your Child 

You can also model this with your child directly. If the child recycles that question: ‘Who takes care of you?’, you might say this gently that Allah cares for me, and sometimes others help, like when I am tired, or sad, or just need a hand. This plants a seed that caregiving is communal and natural, not transactional or shameful. 

Receiving does not mean you owe more, it means you are loved and also worthy of being cared for. This lesson can recalibrate how your child approaches both dependence and independence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages mutual support, showing that care moves in both directions, it is not merely given by parents to children, but by communities, families, and by Allah where people are provided as a source. 

A Reminder That Receiving Care is Not Shameful 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hashar (59), verse 9: 

‘And as for those people who settled their homes (in Madinah Al Munawwarah) and (adopted) the faith before them; they love those people who emigrated to them; and did not harbour (any resentments) in their conscience, desiring what was given (to others); and giving preference over themselves, even though they were impecunious themselves; and whoever is salvaged from (the inherent state of) being miserly for himself, then they are the victorious.’ 

This Verse honours the believers who prioritise care, even when they themselves have need. It normalises receiving care without guilt because doing so sustains mutual wellbeing. 

The Prophetic Model: The Gift of Reciprocity 

It is recorded in Jami al-Tirmidhi that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. ‘

[Jami al Tirmidhi, 37:101] 

This Hadith guides a parent to both give and receive the same support one would wish for one’s own child. Allowing others to care for you is part of this reciprocity, it nurtures spiritual strength, not weakness. 

When you open your heart to receive, you answer your child’s question with integrity and love. You model that caregiving is not a burden, but a shared responsibility, and that receiving it is a dignified, faith-filled act, not a confession of helplessness.