What to Do When a Child Calls a Teacher Rude or Unfair 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child says a teacher is rude or unfair, this is usually an expression of their frustration, disappointment, or feeling misunderstood. Your first step as a parent should be to listen without judgement. Dismissing their feelings immediately can make them feel invalidated, while agreeing too quickly can undermine the teacher’s authority. The key is to find a balance between acknowledging their emotions and teaching them how to respond respectfully. 

Listen and Validate First 

Start by validating their feelings. Say something like, “It sounds like you were upset by what happened. Tell me what made you feel that way.” This simple act helps your child feel heard and gives you a clearer picture of the situation. It also opens up the conversation. 

Teach Respectful Perspective 

After listening, gently remind your child that even if they feel the teacher was unfair, using disrespectful language is unacceptable. You can say, “It is okay to feel upset, but it is not okay to call your teacher rude. Let us find a better way to express this.” This helps them understand that their feelings are valid, but how they express them matters. 

Guide Them Towards Solutions 

Encourage your child to seek clarification or speak to the teacher politely themselves. For example, “Maybe you could say, ‘Miss, I felt hurt when… Can I explain my side?'” If the issue persists, you can then step in as a parent. This approach helps your child build resilience and essential communication skills. 

This balanced approach turns your child’s frustration into a valuable teaching moment, showing them how to stand up for themselves without sacrificing their respect for others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings provide clear guidance on maintaining respect, particularly toward figures of authority. The way we speak and act is a reflection of our character and our faith. 

Guidance from the noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 23: 

‘And your Sustainer has decreed that you do not worship anyone except Him Alone; And (treat) parents favourably; whether one of them or both of them reach old age in your lifetime; then do not say to either of them ‘Uff’ (an expression of disrespectful frustration) and do not admonish them; and talk to them with kind words.’ 

This verse reminds us that respectful speech is so central to Islam that even a small, dismissive sound like ‘uff’ is prohibited when addressing our parents. This principle of honouring authority extends to all respected figures in our lives, including teachers. 

Teachings of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 625, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is not one who taunts, curses, or uses foul language.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that respect and dignity must be maintained in all our speech, even when we feel upset. Using harsh words only harms our relationships and is not a part of a believer’s character. 

By guiding your child to express their feelings without disrespect, you are connecting them to the Islamic values of patience, mercy, and honouring authority. They will learn that while frustration is natural, their words must always remain respectful. This strengthens their character and teaches them to balance honesty with dignity in all their relationships.