Parenting Perspective 

When emotions are heightened, it is easy to speak in a way that we later regret. Parents are not immune to frustration and will, at times, react sharply towards their children. The words we choose in the moments after an outburst can have a significant effect on our child’s emotional well-being. The most important thing is to promptly acknowledge the misstep, show humility, and restore a calm connection. 

Acknowledge Your Mistake 

The first step after reacting harshly is to take immediate responsibility. When you admit that you have responded out of anger, you teach your child that everyone makes mistakes and that the true measure of character lies in how we repair them. 

You can say: ‘I am sorry for snapping at you.’ 

This straightforward apology models humility and accountability, reinforcing the vital lesson that it is never too late to make amends. 

Validate Your Child’s Feelings 

Next, it is crucial to recognise the impact your reaction had on your child. Acknowledging their emotional state shows empathy and validates their experience, letting them know that their feelings matter. 

You can say: ‘I can see you are upset.’ 

This simple observation assures your child that they are seen and understood, which helps to soothe their hurt and makes them feel heard. 

Commit to Improvement 

Finally, reaffirm your intention to manage your emotions more effectively in the future. This helps to rebuild trust and demonstrates to your child that you are actively working to be a better parent. 

You can say: ‘I will try to do better next time.’ 

This statement provides reassurance and shows your child that you are taking ownership of your behaviour and making a conscious effort to change. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the act of seeking forgiveness and striving for self-improvement is a cornerstone of faith and a form of worship. Allah Almighty encourages believers to remain mindful of their conduct and to engage in a continuous process of self-betterment. 

The Power of Repentance 

The noble Quran teaches that repentance, when sincere, is a transformative act that invites divine mercy and can even turn misdeeds into good deeds. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 70: 

‘ Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so, for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds; and Allah (Almighty) is All Forgiving and All Merciful.‘ 

This verse serves as a powerful reminder of the hope that lies in repentance. When we admit our faults and seek to improve, we open the door to Allah’s boundless forgiveness. 

Divine Reassurance for Those Who Strive 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ offer great comfort for moments of regret, such as after speaking harshly to a child. True repentance can erase the spiritual trace of a misdeed. 

It is recorded in Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 605, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The one who repents from sin is like the one who has no sin.’ 

This hadith provides profound reassurance. When we apologise to our children and commit to doing better, we are not only mending our worldly relationships but also drawing closer to Allah Almighty, who values our sincere efforts to improve.