Parenting Perspective 

Frustration is a completely normal part of parenting. Children naturally test boundaries and repeat behaviours that can feel exhausting to manage. While responding in anger often escalates the situation, a calm response maintains parental authority and protects the relationship. The goal is not to suppress emotions, but to manage them wisely so that discipline can be firm yet respectful. 

Pause Before Reacting 

When you feel a wave of frustration building, take a moment before you speak or act. This could be a single deep breath, a slow count to five, or taking a sip of water. This brief but crucial pause interrupts the reactive cycle of anger and gives you a moment to think more clearly, rather than simply reacting to the emotion. 

Use a Calm Script 

It can be helpful to have a few neutral, pre-prepared phrases to use when you feel upset. Simple lines such as, ‘I do not like this behaviour, and we need to fix it together,’ or ‘This is not acceptable, and this is the consequence we agreed upon,’ can keep you on track. Using a calm script prevents you from saying something you might later regret. 

Redirect Your Energy 

Instead of allowing your frustration to come out as anger, channel that energy into a calm and decisive action. This could mean calmly removing the toy that is being fought over, turning off the screen at the agreed time, or walking away for a moment to signal that the discussion is over. Letting the consequence speak for itself is often more powerful than a raised voice. 

Reflect on the Moment Afterwards 

Once you and your child are both calm, you can revisit the issue. You could say, ‘Earlier, I felt frustrated when you did not listen. Let’s talk about how we can try to do this differently next time.’ This kind of reflection turns a moment of frustration into a valuable learning opportunity for both of you. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam greatly praises those who can control their emotions and choose a path of gentleness, especially when interacting with their own family. 

The Virtue of Restraining Anger 

The Quran identifies the restraining of anger as a quality of the righteous and a characteristic of those who are beloved to Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verses 134: 

‘ Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ 

A Prophetic Technique for Calmness 

The prophetic tradition offers a practical, physical technique for managing the rising feeling of anger, guiding believers to change their posture to help defuse the emotion. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4782, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When one of you becomes angry while standing, let him sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise, let him lie down.’ 

By applying these practical steps and spiritual principles, you can turn moments of parental frustration into opportunities for growth. Your child will learn that calmness, even when tested, is a sign of strong character and a true reflection of faith.