What supports test days so nerves don’t wipe their memory? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a familiar scenario for many parents: your child studies well and remembers everything the night before a test, only to experience a complete mental blank once the paper is in front of them. Their hands may tremble, their breathing can speed up, and a sense of panic replaces all their careful preparation. This is not a sign of laziness or a lack of study; it is anxiety hijacking the memory. 

When stress hormones surge, the brain’s ‘thinking centre’, the prefrontal cortex, can temporarily shut down while its ‘alarm system’, the amygdala, takes over. Helping your child to handle test nerves means calming the body first, as only then can the mind access and remember what it knows. The aim is not to eliminate stress entirely, but to keep it at a healthy level where it sharpens focus instead of erasing it. 

Normalise Nerves as a Natural Response 

Begin by reframing anxiety as a natural response, not as a sign of failure. You can say, ‘Feeling nervous before a test just means that your body cares about doing well. We can help it to stay calm so that your brain can do its job properly.’ This helps your child to see nerves as a form of preparatory energy, not a signal of danger. 

Build a Calm and Predictable Morning Routine 

The way a day begins can set the tone for the hours that follow. On the morning of a test, it is important to keep the routine steady and predictable. 

• Eat a slow, balanced breakfast that includes protein and fruit. 

• Avoid any last-minute cramming, as this often fuels panic. 

• Leave home with gentle time margins so that no one feels rushed. 

Calm rhythms help to keep adrenaline manageable and prevent the nervous system from becoming overwhelmed. 

Teach the ‘3:3:3’ Grounding Rule 

Just before entering the classroom, you can guide your child through a simple grounding exercise to reset their nervous system. 

• Name three things they can see. 

• Take three slow, deep breaths. 

• Gently stretch three different muscles, such as in their shoulders, hands, and neck. 

This short routine signals a sense of safety to the brain, allowing the thinking centre to remain active. 

Introduce a Subtle Breathing Strategy for Panic 

If they freeze in the middle of the test, teach them a discreet version of box breathing that can be done without anyone noticing. 

• Inhale for a count of four. 

• Hold the breath for four. 

• Exhale slowly for a count of six. 

• Pause for two. 

This technique helps to calm the body’s stress response and can re-open the pathways to memory access. 

Focus on Process, Not Perfection, Afterwards 

After the test is over, try to avoid asking questions like, ‘Did you get everything right?’ Instead, you could ask, ‘How did you feel about the questions?’ or ‘What helped you to stay calm today?’ Shifting the focus from performance to a reflection on the process helps to reduce their anxiety about future tests. 

Spiritual Insight 

Remembering That Effort Is a Form of Worship 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Najam (53), Verse 39: 

‘ And they shall be nothing (to account) for mankind except what he has undertaken.’ 

This verse reminds us that our reward comes from our effort, not necessarily from our results. Teaching your child this profound truth can relieve the pressure of perfectionism that so often fuels test-day panic. You can say, ‘You do your best, and know that Allah sees your effort. That is success in His eyes.’ This perspective shifts the focus from marks to meaning, grounding their sense of achievement in faith. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Calm Confidence 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4164, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘If you were to rely upon Allah with the reliance He is due, you would be given provision as the birds are given. They go out hungry in the morning and return full in the evening.’ 

This hadith beautifully illustrates the principle of tawakkul, which is trust in Allah balanced with sincere action. Just as the birds leave their nests prepared for the day yet trusting in their Provider, your child can enter each test room prepared but with a peaceful heart. Their task is to try their best; the outcome rests with Allah Almighty. 

Before every exam, you can help your child recite a short supplication to steady their heart, such as, “Hasbiyallahu la ilaha illa Huwa” (‘Allah is sufficient for me; there is no deity but Him.’) This small act of remembrance can redirect feelings of fear towards faith. Over time, your child learns that true confidence does not come from perfect recall, but from knowing that Allah Almighty holds both their knowledge and their outcome in His care.