Parenting Perspective 

Children pay very close attention to the way their parents handle disagreements. If they regularly see arguments turning into battles where one parent is always trying to ‘win’, they may come to believe that relationships are based on competition, not on cooperation. However, when parents are able to use stories to illustrate that unity is far more valuable than winning, a child can learn that love and teamwork should always outweigh pride. Stories have a special way of bringing these lessons to life in a way that lectures simply cannot. 

Share Stories of Compromise from Your Own Marriage 

You can tell your child about a time when you and your spouse disagreed but made a conscious choice to compromise. For example, ‘Daddy really wanted to spend the weekend visiting some family, but Mummy was feeling tired and wanted some quiet time at home. We listened to each other and decided to find a middle way. The result was that we found a solution that worked better for all of us, which was much better than one of us simply ‘winning’ the argument.’ 

Use Examples from Your Own Childhoods 

You can also share moments from your own upbringing. For instance, ‘I remember seeing my own parents argue about chores, and it always made the house feel very stressful. I learned from that experience that it feels much better when both parents can work together calmly.’ This shows your child that unity brings peace, while conflict brings tension. 

Give Simple and Relatable Analogies 

Children can often grasp the concept of unity through a simple comparison. You might say, ‘If the players on a football team all start arguing about who is right instead of playing together, they will probably lose the match. A family is just the same; our unity is what helps us to win as a team.’ 

Emphasise the Positive Outcome of Unity 

It is important to always end your story by clearly stating the lesson. A phrase like, ‘We may not always agree on everything, but choosing to remain united is what keeps our family feeling safe and happy,’ reinforces the idea that winning an argument is never as important as protecting the harmony of the family. 

When parents are able to share stories in this way, their children can grow up with a deep appreciation for cooperation over competition. They will learn that the real strength in a family comes from its unity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Reconciliation and Humility Over Pride 

Islam places a great weight on the qualities of reconciliation, humility, and maintaining unity. The desire to win an argument for the sake of one’s pride is something that only fuels division, whereas an attitude of unity is what attracts the mercy of Allah. 

The Command to Maintain Unity 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verses 46: 

‘And obey Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ), and do not dispute (with each other) as it may weaken (your ranks), and would reduce your strength, and show resilience; indeed, Allah (Almighty) it is with those people who are resilient.’ 

This verse reminds us that engaging in disputes can weaken our families and our communities, while the qualities of patience and unity are what preserve our strength. 

The Danger of Useleless Argumentation 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 48, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘No people go astray after being guided except that they indulged in argumentation.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the habit of constant arguing can be a path to great harm, while letting go of the need to always win helps to preserve a sense of guidance. By telling stories that highlight the virtues of compromise, humility, and teamwork, you can show your child that unity is always more valuable than victory. They will learn from your example that a strong and happy family is built not on pride, but on patience, respect, and the shared goal of keeping love at the very centre of your home.