Parenting Perspective 

Children learn not only from the things that you tell them, but also from the stories that you share. If you want to show your child that breaking a harmful family pattern is a true form of courage, you can use powerful stories from your own life, from history, and from the lives of the righteous. These kinds of stories can help your child to see that real strength is not just about physical power, but is about having the courage to choose a better path, even when it is difficult. 

Share Personal Stories of Growth 

You can tell your child, in an age-appropriate way, about how you are consciously choosing different words or behaviours from what you may have experienced yourself. For example, ‘When I was young, people in my family often shouted when they were upset. I am trying my best to speak calmly to you instead, because I want you to feel safe.’ This helps to model the process of personal growth. 

Share Stories of the Companions 

Explain how the companions of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ left behind the harmful customs of their past. For instance, many of them abandoned old tribal feuds and a culture of cruelty, and instead chose to embrace the new Islamic values of forgiveness and mercy. 

Share Stories from Everyday Life 

You can point out examples of people in your own community who have risen above difficult circumstances. This could be a neighbour who overcame poverty through honest, hard work, or a relative who transformed their life by returning to their faith. These stories show that positive cycles can be started in real life. 

Frame the Act of Change as Courageous 

Use phrases that highlight the strength in choosing a different path, such as, ‘It takes much more strength to change a bad habit than it does to just repeat what feels easy.’ This helps your child to see the act of breaking a harmful cycle as something truly heroic. 

By telling these kinds of stories, you can help to plant a seed in your child’s heart: the belief that they, too, can be agents of positive change in the world. 

Spiritual Insight 

Righteousness Over Inherited Mistakes 

Islam honours those who make a conscious choice to follow the path of righteousness, rather than repeating inherited mistakes. The act of breaking a destructive cycle is a sign of taqwa and of real spiritual strength, as it signifies a person’s shift from a state of ignorance to one of guidance. 

Choosing Guidance Over Inherited Ways 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verses 17: 

‘And those people that deflect (the inducements of) tyrannical forces, instead of revelling in engaging with them; and revert to Allah (Almighty) (for forgiveness), for them is the news for celebration, so congratulate My (true) servants.’ 

This verse reminds us that the act of turning away from harmful inherited ways and choosing the path of Allah is something that brings with it the promise of glad tidings. 

True Strength Lies in Self-Control 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who overpowers others. Rather, the strong person is the one who controls himself when angry.’ 

This teaches us that true strength is not found in repeating destructive behaviours like uncontrolled anger, but is found in the act of mastering the self and choosing the path of restraint. By sharing stories of the companions, of your own personal growth, and of the guidance of the Prophet ﷺ, you can show your child that breaking negative cycles is not a sign of weakness, but is a sign of true strength. They will grow up seeing that making a positive change is an essential part of faith, courage, and devotion to Allah.