What steps can parents take if they worry their child is using advanced skills in unsafe or unethical ways online? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child demonstrates advanced technological abilities, it can be a source of both pride and anxiety for a parent. The anxiety often arises when it seems those skills are being used in risky or unethical ways, such as bypassing parental controls, accessing restricted websites, or even experimenting with hacking. The challenge is to guide the child with firmness and wisdom, without crushing their talent, so that their skills can be channelled towards safe and beneficial goals. 

Address Your Concerns Calmly and Directly 

It is important to avoid accusatory or shaming language. Instead, you could say: ‘I have noticed that you are using your skills in ways that could potentially be unsafe for you. Let us talk about how you are applying all the things that you know.’ This approach opens dialogue and focuses on understanding, rather than shutting your child down with accusations. 

Link Skill to Responsibility 

Explain to them: ‘The smarter you are with technology, the more responsibility you carry to use that knowledge well. Skills are meant to protect and help people, not to cause harm or break rules.’ This helps to reframe their knowledge as an amanah (a trust), not as a tool for mischief. 

Set Clear Rules With Consequences 

If you have confirmed that their skills are being misused, you must establish firm boundaries. Make it clear that any unsafe or unethical online actions will have clear and consistent consequences. This reinforces the principle that a high level of ability does not excuse a person from misbehaviour. 

Channel Their Skills Into Positive Outlets 

Encourage your child to use their talents in constructive and positive ways. You could look into coding courses, digital design classes, robotics clubs, or safe online competitions where their skills can truly shine. This shows your child that you value their abilities, while also redirecting them towards growth and benefit. 

By combining clear guidance, firm boundaries, and positive opportunities, parents can help to protect their child from misusing their tech skills, while encouraging them to grow into responsible and ethical digital leaders. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every blessing we receive, including the gift of knowledge and skill, is a sacred trust (amanah) from Allah Almighty. To misuse that knowledge for harmful purposes is a betrayal of that trust, whereas using it responsibly brings great reward. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verses 27: 

‘ O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).‘ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that all of our skills and knowledge are a form of trust, and they are never to be abused or misused in a way that breaks the trust of those who are responsible for us. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2416, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The feet of the son of Adam will not move on the Day of Judgement until he is asked about five things: his life and how he lived it, his youth and how he spent it, his wealth, how he earned it and how he spent it, and what he did with his knowledge.’ 

This teaching makes it clear that our knowledge is one of the key things for which we will be held accountable by Allah. It must be used for good, not for causing harm or making excuses. 

By grounding your discussions in the principles of faith, you can show your children that advanced skills are not a license to explore the digital world recklessly, but a responsibility to use that knowledge wisely. Over time, this helps them to learn that true honour is found not in showing off one’s ability, but in aligning it with integrity and the desire to please Allah Almighty.