What steps can make both of us feel confident as parents? 

Parenting Perspective 

A parent’s confidence tends to grow when they feel valued, trusted, and supported by their spouse. If one parent begins to feel dismissed or sidelined, a sense of insecurity can creep in, which can weaken the couple’s unity and create mixed signals for their child. True confidence comes from a spirit of teamwork, mutual respect, and a commitment to building on each other’s strengths, rather than highlighting each other’s weaknesses. 

Share and Celebrate Each Other’s Strengths 

Take the time to openly acknowledge what your spouse does well, whether it is their patience, their playfulness, their sense of structure, or their creativity. When each other’s strengths are openly celebrated, both parents will feel more capable and secure. 

Divide Your Responsibilities Fairly 

Confidence often increases when a parent feels competent and trusted in their specific role. You can agree on certain areas that each of you will take the lead on, for example, homework, bedtime routines, or family outings, while still making sure you support one another in these tasks. 

Practise Regular Private Check-ins 

Try to hold weekly discussions where you can share what is working well and what is feeling difficult at the moment. It is important to avoid a tone of blame in these conversations, and instead to frame any challenges as opportunities to grow together. 

Encourage in Public, Correct in Private 

If your spouse makes a mistake in front of your child, it is best to support them in the moment. You can then discuss any necessary improvements with them in private later on. This helps to protect their dignity and will build their self-assurance as a parent. 

Learn and Grow Together 

You could attend parenting workshops, read books on child development, or listen to Islamic talks about the family as a couple. The act of shared learning helps to build a sense of confidence that you are growing as a team, not competing against each other. 

When parents are able to consistently support and affirm one another, they both feel empowered, and their children can grow up in a home where confidence flows from a foundation of respect and partnership. 

Spiritual Insight 

Parenthood as a Divine Partnership 

Islam honours the balance of responsibilities within a family, where both the mother and the father play their own vital and complementary roles. A parent’s confidence is nurtured when each of them sees themselves as a partner in fulfilling a divine and sacred trust. 

Parenthood as a Noble Trust (Amanah) 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verses 27: 

‘O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).’ 

This verse reminds us that raising children is a sacred trust (amanah), and that both parents share the responsibility of upholding it with sincerity and care. 

Supporting Each Other in Goodness 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 1336, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘May Allah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, and wakes his wife and she prays; and may Allah have mercy on a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes her husband and he prays.’ 

This hadith shows the beauty of spouses strengthening one another in their responsibilities and their worship, a principle which extends to the act of parenting. By affirming each other’s strengths, sharing your responsibilities fairly, and supporting one another with mercy, both of you can grow in confidence as parents. This unity will not only empower you as a couple, but will also help to build a home where your child feels secure, guided, and surrounded by a love that is rooted in faith.