What steps can I take to help my child link calm-down skills to future tech use? 

Parenting Perspective 

Helping your child see their own emotional regulation as a key to privileges like screen time can be a powerful motivator. It reframes calmness not as a passive state, but as an active skill that earns trust and independence. 

Practise Calm-Down Skills During Neutral Moments 

If calming exercises are only introduced when a child is already upset, they can feel like a punishment. Instead, practise these skills during neutral, pleasant times. This helps your child to associate them with positive experiences, not just with loss of control. 

Connect Skills to Tech Privileges 

Clearly explain that the ability to manage their emotions is part of being responsible enough for tech time. You could say, ‘When you show me you can take a deep breath and stay calm, it shows me you are ready for the responsibility of using the tablet.’ This makes self-regulation a gateway to more independence. 

Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection 

Keep the tone encouraging by praising small improvements, such as calming down a little faster than last time. Focusing on their progress, not on perfection, builds their confidence and motivation to keep trying. 

When calm-down skills become part of your family’s everyday culture, your child will view them as tools for success in both screen-based and real-life settings. 

Spiritual Insight 

The virtues of calmness and self-control are deeply valued in Islam, as they guide believers to act with patience, wisdom, and foresight. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people  and Allah loves the doers of good…’ 

This reminds us that the ability to restrain our frustration and act with patience is a sign of true goodness that is beloved to Allah. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who overpowers others by wrestling, but the strong person is the one who controls himself when he is angry.’ 

This teaches that true strength lies in mastering one’s own emotions, which in turn leads to better choices and healthier relationships. 

By teaching your child that calmness leads to greater trust and privileges, you are not only helping them enjoy technology responsibly but also guiding them to embody Islamic values in everyday life.