What small rewards do not overshadow the value of service? 

Parenting Perspective 

Many parents wonder how to encourage their children to help at home, at school, or in the community without making them expect a prize every time. The danger of using large or frequent rewards is that the act of service can lose its meaning. A child may begin to think, ‘I help to get something,’ rather than, ‘I help because it is the right and good thing to do.’ At the same time, children do need recognition; they thrive on knowing their effort has been noticed and valued. 

The solution is to use small, thoughtful rewards that highlight the joy of service but do not eclipse it. These rewards should reinforce the message that helping is meaningful in itself, while still giving children moments of delight and encouragement. 

Use Verbal Affirmation as a Primary Reward 

The simplest and most powerful reward you can offer is your words. Instead of grand gestures, try using specific and heartfelt praise. 

• ‘I am so proud of the way you helped your sister just then.’ 

• ‘You have made the room feel so peaceful by tidying up your toys.’ 

• ‘That small act of kindness made a big difference to our family today.’ 

Offer Extra Moments of Connection 

Spending special, focused time with you can be a far more meaningful reward than any material item. 

• Reading an extra bedtime story. 

• Playing a quick board game together. 

• Going for a short walk together after dinner. 

These moments reinforce the idea that helping strengthens family relationships. 

Offer Privileges, Not Prizes 

Small privileges often work better as rewards than gifts or treats. 

• Staying up ten minutes later on a weekend. 

• Being allowed to choose the family movie. 

• Getting to pick the side dish for the next family meal. 

Give Small, Symbolic Tokens 

Occasional small tokens can be used to celebrate a special effort without overshadowing the act of service itself. 

• A hand-drawn ‘thank you’ note from a parent. 

• A homemade badge for the ‘Kind Helper of the Day’. 

• A single flower from the garden as a gesture of appreciation. 

Teach Them to Notice the Natural Rewards 

Encourage your child to notice the natural, positive benefits that come from their own helpful actions. You could say: ‘See how quickly we finished the task when you joined in to help? Now we all have more time to relax.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘What do I get for helping today?’ 

Parent: ‘You get to see how happy your brother is because of your kindness. And you know what? You can also choose tonight’s bedtime story.’ 

Child: ‘…So the best part is that I made him happy?’ 

Parent: ‘Exactly. The story is just a little bonus, but your kindness is the real treasure.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam reminds us that the best and most lasting rewards are with Allah, not in the worldly prizes we receive from people. Acts of service should always be linked to sincerity and faith. By giving children small, symbolic rewards while pointing them towards Allah’s eternal reward, you can help to keep their hearts focused on the true purpose of helping others. 

The True Reward Is with Allah 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Kahf (18), Verse 30: 

‘Indeed, those people who have attained faith, and have undertaken virtuous actions; without any doubt, We (Allah Almighty) shall not allow the reward to be wasted, of those people that have undertaken the best of good deeds.’ 

This verse is a beautiful reassurance that every good action is recorded and rewarded by Allah. You can explain: ‘Even if no one on earth gives you a prize for what you have done, Allah promises that your good effort will never be wasted.’ 

Consistent Service Brings Lasting Joy 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1970, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved deeds to Allah are those done consistently, even if small.’ 

For a child, this means: ‘When you keep on helping, even in very little ways, Allah loves that more than one big action that is done only for a prize.’ 

By connecting the act of service to Allah’s lasting reward, you show your child that small worldly rewards are just gentle reminders of a much greater reality. The real joy comes from the satisfaction of helping others and the eternal reward that is waiting with Allah.