What small daily changes in my behaviour could shift how my child uses technology? 

Parenting Perspective 

A child’s technology habits are often shaped less by the rules you announce and more by the behaviours you model. Small, consistent changes in your own daily approach can have a far greater influence than constant reminders or arguments. 

Use Devices with Intention 

Before you pick up your phone, try narrating your intention aloud. Saying something simple like, ‘I am just going to check the weather for tomorrow’, or, ‘I need to reply to this one important message’, models to your child that device use can be a purposeful tool, not just a source of mindless scrolling. 

Practise Visible Pauses 

When your child comes to speak to you, make a habit of visibly pausing your screen use. The simple act of putting your phone face down on the table or closing your laptop lid for a moment sends a powerful non-verbal message: people always take priority over screens. 

Create Shared Device-Free Moments 

Introduce small but predictable device-free rituals into your daily life. This could be a rule that there are no phones at the breakfast table, or that the first ten minutes after everyone gets home are for connecting. By participating in these moments yourself, you lead by example, not by enforcement. 

These small changes, when repeated every day, will gradually reshape your family’s culture around technology, making balanced habits feel normal and natural, rather than like a set of restrictive rules. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings emphasise that the most effective way to guide others is through our own living example, and that small, consistent good deeds hold immense value. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 17: 

‘O my son, establish your prayers, and (seek to) promote positivity, and (seek to) diminish negativity; and be patient with what afflictions you come across…’ 

This beautiful advice from Luqman to his son shows us that guidance is not just about giving instructions, but about pairing those instructions with our own personal practice and patience. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nasai, Hadith 5008, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever among you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; if he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot, then with his heart  and that is the weakest of faith.’ 

This powerful Hadith teaches us that the first and strongest way to enact change is with our own actions. When it comes to our family’s habits, this means starting with what is directly within our control: our own behaviour. 

By making these small, intentional adjustments to your own tech use, you can influence your child’s habits in a way that feels natural and respectful, and is deeply consistent with the Islamic principle of leading by example.