What simple phrases can I teach my child when they feel angry? 

Parenting Perspective 

Practice Simple ‘I Feel’ Phrases 

When children feel angry, their feelings often come out in shouting or harsh blame. Teaching them short, simple phrases helps them to slow down and say what they really feel. Start by helping your child understand that anger is not a wrong feeling, but what we do with it matters. Use calm moments to practise easy sentences they can remember when big emotions bubble up. For example, you can teach them phrases like, ‘I feel angry because…’, ‘I need a moment to calm down,’ or ‘I feel like shouting, but I will take deep breaths instead.’ 

Role-Play and Model the Behaviour 

You can role-play using toys or favourite characters so they can see what these words look like in action. Praise any effort, even if they forget in the heat of the moment. You could write these phrases on colourful cards and keep them somewhere handy, like on the fridge or in a calm-down corner. Let your child see you using your own phrases too: ‘I feel frustrated, so I am going to pause and breathe.’ When children see anger handled with calm honesty, they feel safer talking about their own strong feelings. Over time, these simple words become tools that help them to speak instead of shout, building trust that they can handle anger without hurting others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that true strength lies in self-control, especially in moments of anger. Allah Almighty praises those who hold back their anger and act with kindness instead. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.‘

This gentle reminder shows that naming our anger and holding it with care is an act that pleases Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The strong man is not the one who can overpower others; the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry.‘

Sharing these words with your child shows them that using simple phrases is a sign of strength, not weakness. Encourage them to make a short Dua when they feel anger rise inside, such as, ‘Ya Allah, help me calm my heart and speak kindly.’ With your patient practice, your child will grow to see that anger does not have to control them. Instead, they can choose words that keep their hearts soft and their actions pleasing to Allah Almighty.