What should we do when a borrowed book gets damaged at a friend’s house? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a borrowed book gets torn or stained, a child’s first impulse might be to hide it or downplay what happened. This reaction usually comes from a fear of being blamed, not from a disregard for honesty. Your role is to transform this anxiety into an opportunity to teach integrity, helping them to see that admitting to the damage and making amends is what preserves friendships and self-respect. 

Start With Calm Reflection, Not Panic 

Sit down with your child and say gently, ‘Let us have a look at what happened here.’ It is important to avoid anger or immediate judgement, as children often hide things because they fear a harsh reaction. A calm tone opens the path to honesty. Once they have told you the truth, affirm their courage: ‘I appreciate you telling me. Your honesty matters more than the book itself.’ 

Teach That Borrowed Things Are a Sacred Trust 

Explain to your child that anything they borrow, whether it is a book, a toy, or a device, is a loan of responsibility, not of ownership. You can say, ‘When someone lends you something, they are trusting you with a piece of what is theirs. Returning it in good condition is how we show our gratitude.’ Relate this to their friendship: ‘Your friend valued you enough to share their book with you. Returning it damaged without being honest breaks that trust.’ 

Guide the Response Step-by-Step 

• Admit Quickly: Help your child to tell their friend what happened as soon as possible. Waiting only increases anxiety and can cause more damage to the trust between them. You can help them with some suggested words: ‘I am really sorry, but the book got torn while I had it. I did not mean for it to happen.’ 

• Offer Repair or Replacement: They should show a willingness to fix the situation. They could ask, ‘Can I buy you a new copy, or would you like me to try and tape it neatly?’ 

• Inform Parents if Needed: If the book belongs to the friend’s family, a short, respectful message from you can reinforce the example you are setting: ‘We are very sorry about the damage and will happily replace the book.’ 

Use the Moment to Teach Emotional Repair 

After the situation has been resolved, you can discuss how returning a damaged item can hurt feelings more than the object itself. Ask your child, ‘How do you think your friend felt when they saw the book?’ Then, you can highlight the healing power of honesty: ‘When we are honest and fix what we broke, Allah helps to heal any hurt feelings, too.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, returning borrowed items with care and integrity is a sacred duty. Even accidental damage requires honesty, because every object that we hold temporarily carries with it a measure of trust. 

Restoring the Trust Faithfully 

The Quran reminds us that every promise we make, whether spoken or implied, is a trust before Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 34: 

‘…And fulfil all your promises, as indeed, you will be questioned about all the promises that you have made (in this life).’ 

This verse teaches that we will be held accountable for our commitments. You can tell your child, ‘When you borrow a book, you are making a silent promise to take care of it. Being honest about any damage is a way of fulfilling that promise.’ This transforms a small act into an act of worship. 

Honesty Over Embarrassment 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ emphasise that when we intend to do the right thing, Allah Himself helps us. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2387, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever takes the property of people intending to repay it, Allah will repay it on his behalf; and whoever takes it intending to destroy it, Allah will destroy him.’ 

You can gently explain, ‘When we admit what happened and do our best to make it right, Allah helps us to restore what was lost.’ Encourage your child to make a quiet dua before they return the book: ‘O Allah, please forgive my carelessness and help me to return every trust with honesty and respect.’ 

These moments teach a child that being trusted is a privilege. They will come to see borrowed items not as conveniences, but as small tests of character and opportunities to earn both human trust and the pleasure of Allah.