What should we do if I react badly redo the talk later or write it down?

Parenting Perspective

Even the most mindful parent can sometimes react too sharply when a child delivers bad news. In those moments, children can walk away believing that honesty is dangerous, even if you regret your tone later. The key is to repair trust quickly and to show your child that mistakes in communication can also be fixed. This models humility and gives them the courage to continue speaking the truth in the future.

Step One: Acknowledge Your Reaction

It is important to state openly that you made a mistake. You could say, “I reacted too strongly earlier when you told me what happened. That was not a fair response. Let us try to start this conversation again.” This shows your child that parents also need resets and that owning one’s mistakes is a sign of maturity.

Redo the Talk at a Calmer Time

Do not leave the matter hanging unresolved. It is important to choose a calmer moment, perhaps after dinner, during a walk, or at bedtime, to revisit the issue. You can say, “I would like to hear your side of the story properly now, and then we can decide on the consequence together.” A calm second attempt proves to your child that correction can happen with dignity.

Consider Using Writing When Emotions Are High

If you or your child are still feeling emotional, writing can provide some much-needed clarity and space. You can encourage your child to write down what happened, why it happened, and how they think it can be fixed. You can also write a short note yourself if you are finding it difficult to speak calmly: “I was upset earlier, but I do value your honesty. Let us talk tomorrow with calm hearts.”

Always Close the Loop with Reassurance

Do not let the mistake, or your reaction to it, fade away without a sense of closure. Children need to see that difficult issues can be resolved, not just buried. After you have spoken again or written to each other, you can end with an affirmation: “I was upset about what happened, but I am proud that you told me the truth. We all make mistakes, and they are a part of learning. We repair them and we move on.”

Reinforce with a Mini-Dialogue

Parent: “I realise that I shouted when you told me about the broken glass. That was the wrong way to react. Thank you for being honest with me. Let us talk about it again calmly now.”

Child: “So, am I still in trouble?”

Parent: “Yes, there will still be a consequence; you will need to help clean it up and contribute to a replacement. But we will talk about it respectfully. I am very proud that you came to me so quickly.”

When handled this way, your child learns that even a parent’s mistakes can be repaired and that telling the truth will always be safer than silence.

Spiritual Insight

Islam teaches us that making a mistake is not the end of the story; what matters is the sincerity with which we return and try to make things right. This principle applies to all of our relationships, especially within the family.

Returning After a Mistake is Strength

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 70:

‘Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so, for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds; and Allah (Almighty) is All Forgiving and All Merciful.’

This verse reminds us that returning after we have made an error is not a sign of weakness; it is an opportunity for growth and a way to attract divine mercy. When you admit a harsh reaction and redo the conversation with kindness, you are modelling the Islamic principles of repentance and renewal in your family life.

The Prophet ﷺ Showed Humility in Correction

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2588, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

‘Charity does not in any way decrease wealth and Allah does not add to the servant who forgives but honour, and none humbles himself for Allah but Allah raises him in status.’

This Hadith shows that humility, such as acknowledging our own mistakes and softening our hearts in front of others, does not lower our status but actually elevates it. By redoing a difficult talk calmly or using written words to communicate, you are showing your child that humility strengthens your relationships and is a quality that pleases Allah Almighty.

You can close these moments of repair with a shared dua: “O Allah, help us to repair our relationships when we slip, make our words gentle, and keep our home a place where honesty is safe.” This way, your child learns that even if a conversation goes wrong, it can always be redeemed with patience, humility, and faith.