What should they say if a friend screenshots their message? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a friend takes a screenshot of a private message, your child may be left feeling exposed or even betrayed, even if the act was not done with any bad intent. Screenshots have the power to spread our words far beyond their original context, and children often do not realise how permanent that action can feel. Teaching your child how to respond to this situation in a calm way can help them to protect their sense of trust and of dignity, without having to create any unnecessary drama. 

Helping Them to Understand Why It Feels Uncomfortable 

It is important to begin by acknowledging your child’s feelings: ‘It makes perfect sense that you would feel uncomfortable about that. The message was meant just for them, not for everyone.’ This can help to reassure your child that their concern is a valid one. You can then explain to them that the goal now is not to accuse their friend or to panic, but to try to restore the original sense of boundaries in a respectful way. 

Coaching Them in Calm and Clear Responses 

You can encourage your child to respond to their friend in a private and a calm way, and never in a group chat where any feelings of embarrassment can be allowed to grow. 

• ‘Hey, I noticed that you took a screenshot of my message. Could you please delete it? That message was meant to be private.’ 

• ‘I would rather our chat just stays between us. It was not meant to be shared with anyone else.’ 

• ‘I am not okay with that message being saved. Can you please remove it?’ 

These phrases are short, polite, and assertive. They are able to express a sense of discomfort without any anger, which shows a great deal of self-respect while still leaving a space for the other person to understand. 

Teaching Prevention and an Awareness of Privacy 

You can use this moment to help your child to think more carefully before they share any sensitive content in the future. You might say, ‘Even when we really trust someone, we can never control what they might do with the things that we send to them.’ You can encourage them to avoid sending any messages or photographs that they would not want to be shared with other people, no matter how close the friendship may feel at the time. This is not about creating a sense of mistrust; it is about protecting their own dignity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of importance on the concepts of privacy, of dignity, and of respect for the personal matters of other people. The act of peering into something that belongs to someone else, whether it is a room, a letter, or a screen, goes against the beautiful Islamic values of amanah (trust) and adab (good manners). Teaching your child how to protect their own privacy, and how to respect the privacy of others, can help to nurture the qualities of sincerity, of respect, and of humility in their own character. 

The Quranic Reminder About Protecting a Trust 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘Those of you who have believed, abstain as much as you can from cynical thinking (about one another); as some of that cynical thinking is a sin; and do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others…’ 

This verse reminds us that the act of peeking into or of exposing what another person had intended to keep private is a violation of our mutual respect. A screenshot that is taken without a person’s consent is a very modern form of this kind of behaviour; it is an invasion of their trust. When your child is able to speak up in a kind way about this, they are standing up for this beautiful Quranic principle. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Keeping Private Matters Private 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2546, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer does not expose (the faults or secrets of) his brother, for whoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of Resurrection.’ 

This hadith captures the very heart of the concept of digital discretion. The act of taking or of spreading another person’s private message without their consent is a breaking of that sacred trust. When your child is able to politely ask for their message to be deleted, they are living by this beautiful prophetic ethic of guarding the dignity of another person, just as they would hope for their own dignity to be guarded in return. 

Helping your child to navigate this difficult moment can teach them a sense of emotional steadiness and of self-respect in the digital world. They can learn that a sense of privacy is not the same as a sense of secrecy; it is a form of sincerity that is being protected. 

Your gentle guidance can help to turn a moment of discomfort into a valuable lesson in trust, in honesty, and in courage. Over time, they will come to realise for themselves that a real friendship does not need to have screenshots as a proof of its connection; it is something that is lived through a sense of loyalty and of mutual respect. 

When they are able to calmly say, ‘Please can you delete that? It was meant just for you,’ they will be practising both a sense of social wisdom and of a deep, spiritual grace. They will be standing up for what is right without any sense of harshness, protecting their own dignity while still remaining kind.