What should they do when rumours about them start spreading? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child discovers that rumours are spreading about them, it can feel as though their world has collapsed. Their mind may race with questions: ‘Who said it?’, ‘Why me?’, ‘What will everyone think?’ The pain of feeling falsely portrayed, especially in the eyes of their peers, can leave them feeling angry, anxious, or withdrawn. As a parent, your task is to help them to protect their truth, their peace, and their dignity all at once. 

Acknowledge the Hurt Before Offering Solutions 

It is important to begin with empathy, not with immediate advice. You could say something like, ‘That must feel awful. It is so painful when people talk about you unfairly.’ A child needs to feel emotionally understood before they can begin to think clearly. Validating their feelings tells them that you are on their side, without inflaming the situation further. Once they feel heard, they will be more open to your guidance. 

Teach Them to Pause Before Reacting 

The first instinct when hearing a rumour is often to defend oneself or to confront the source. However, responding in anger usually fuels the drama. You can teach your child the ‘Pause Principle’. 

• Breathe and wait. The first twenty-four hours are often when emotions are at their hottest. 

• Confirm the facts. You can ask, ‘Who said this?’ and ‘How do you know?’, to help separate the truth from exaggeration. 

• Avoid public self-defence. Remind them, ‘You do not need to explain yourself to everyone. The truth often shows itself over time.’ 

By pausing, they can regain a sense of control over what happens next, and that sense of control helps to restore a feeling of calm. 

Choose Dignity Over Drama 

Rumours tend to thrive on reaction. You can teach your child to respond with a quiet sense of dignity. 

• ‘That is not true, and I would rather not talk about it.’ 

• ‘People can believe what they want to believe. I know the truth.’ 

Then, you can help them to redirect their attention towards their own positive behaviour. When others see them remaining kind, confident, and consistent in their character, the rumour will naturally lose its power. The calm strength of this approach can disarm gossip far more quickly than defensiveness or anger ever could. 

Knowing When to Involve Other Adults 

If the rumours are persistent, harmful, or are being spread online, it is important to take practical steps. You can approach teachers or school leaders in a calm and cooperative manner: ‘My child is being affected by some untrue rumours. I was hoping we could work together to help this stop.’ This shows your child that seeking help is not a weakness, but a wise and responsible way of setting boundaries. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam offers profound comfort and guidance for moments of slander and false accusation. The noble Quran and the Sunnah of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ teach us that patience, truth, and a deep trust in Allah Almighty are the best responses when words are used unjustly against us. 

The Virtue of Standing Firm on the Truth 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verse 11: 

‘Indeed, those people who presented a false accusation (against Murshidah Sayyidah Aisha (RA), the wife of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) was a group amongst you; do not think  (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) that (this accusation) shall have any negative impact upon you (or your wife, Murshidah Sayyidah Aisha (RA)); not at all, this will (turn out to be) better for you (as Allah Almighty Himself shall declare the innocence of your wife, Murshidah Sayyidah Aisha (RA)); and every person amongst them (the false accusers) shall reap (the outcomes) of their sins; and for the person that played a greater role (in making this accusation) from them, then for him shall be an extreme punishment (on the Day of Judgment).‘ 

This verse was revealed in response to the painful and false rumours that were spread about our beloved Mother, Sayyidah Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her). It reminds us that Allah Almighty always exposes falsehood in due time and elevates those who remain patient and truthful. You can teach your child that being wrongly accused does not lower their status; in fact, it can serve to purify and strengthen them. 

The Prophetic Guidance on Reputation and Mercy 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2546, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of Resurrection.’ 

This hadith teaches us that a believer’s dignity is sacred. Those who spread or enjoy listening to rumours ultimately harm themselves the most, while those who remain silent or defend the honour of others earn the mercy of Allah. When your child refuses to engage in gossip, even about themselves, they are acting with a prophetic sense of grace. 

You can encourage your child to recite Surah Al Falaq and Surah Al Nas for protection from harm and gossip. You can also teach them a short du’a to ask for peace of heart: ‘O Allah, protect my heart from bitterness, my tongue from gossip, and my reputation with Your mercy.’ Each time they feel misunderstood, you can remind them that Allah is Ash-Shahid, the Ultimate Witness to every truth. By teaching your child patience and self-control in the face of gossip, you are helping them to cultivate a heart whose peace cannot be stolen by other people’s words.