What should they do when a peer is excluded for clothes or background? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children sometimes witness their peers being excluded or teased due to their clothing, their family background, or other differences. These moments are profound: they can deeply wound the excluded child and heavily influence the attitudes of those who are observing. Teaching your child to respond with both kindness and courage helps them develop into compassionate, fair, and respectful individuals. 

Explaining Why Exclusion Hurts 

It is important to clearly articulate the concept of injustice. Tell your child: 

“No one chooses the family they are born into or the clothes they wear. Excluding someone for these reasons is unfair and unkind.” 

This simple explanation helps the child to directly connect the act of exclusion with the concept of injustice. 

Teaching Supportive and Direct Actions 

Guide your child through specific, tangible ways they can offer support: 

• Inclusion: Suggest they say, “Come sit with me.” 

• Friendship: Encourage them to invite the excluded child into games or group work. 

• Kind Words: Advise them to offer verbal warmth, such as, “I like having you here.” 

These small, direct actions immediately counter the exclusion. 

Practising Standing Firm 

Role-play at home to build the confidence required for real-life situations. For example: 

• Peer (pretend): “We do not want him because of his clothes.” 

• Child (guided response): “That is not fair. Clothes do not decide who can play. Let us all join in.” 

Practising these responses builds the confidence needed to act kindly when faced with a difficult peer situation. 

Encouraging Silent Strength Too 

Explain that if speaking up feels too challenging, even small, non-verbal steps can offer support. Actions such as sitting with the excluded child or simply offering a warm smile can make them feel significantly less alone. 

Praising Their Courage 

When your child makes an effort to include someone who has been excluded, affirm their choice strongly: 

“I am proud you welcomed your classmate. That was brave and very kind.” 

This positive reinforcement strengthens the desired behaviour and builds confidence for future opportunities to act with compassion. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam fundamentally forbids mocking or excluding others because of their appearance, wealth, or background. In the sight of Allah Almighty, true worth is measured only by faith and character. 

Ayat from the Noble Quran on Diversity and Righteousness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous; indeed, Allah (Almighty) is the Omniscient, the all Cognisant.’ 

This ayat serves as a powerful reminder that human diversity is a deliberate sign of Allah Almighty’s design, and therefore, respect is due to all. 

Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ on Character 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah does not look at your appearance or your wealth, but He looks at your hearts and your deeds.’ 

This Hadith confirms that what truly matters is character, not external attributes like clothing or background. 

When children learn to stand by excluded peers, they are consciously embodying the prophetic values of justice, compassion, and respect. These acts of courage help to create inclusive environments where dignity is upheld and kindness becomes the norm.