What should they do when a group says “maybe later” so they can try again kindly? 

Parenting Perspective 

Hearing the phrase ‘maybe later’ can sting, especially for a child who was feeling hopeful about joining in with a game or an activity. It is that uncertain space, not quite a ‘no’ but not yet a ‘yes’, that can often leave children feeling confused or deflated. They might begin to wonder, ‘Do they really mean later, or do they just not want me here?’ Helping your child to navigate this delicate moment with grace can help them to build their resilience, their social intelligence, and their sense of self-worth. 

Acknowledge the Disappointment First 

It is important to start with empathy, not with instruction. You could say something like, ‘It feels hard when you want to play and they say maybe later, does it not?’ This shows your child that their feelings are valid. Children are always more open to learning when they feel that they have been understood. By meeting their emotion first, you can help to prevent a sense of shame or frustration from clouding the lesson. Once your child feels heard, you can gently help to reframe the situation: ‘Maybe later does not mean never. It might just mean that they are busy right now. Let us think about what you can do in the meantime.’ 

Encourage a Graceful and Confident Response 

You can help your child to respond with politeness and confidence, rather than with a sense of retreat. 

• ‘Okay, maybe I will come back in a little while.’ 

• ‘No problem, have fun!’ 

• ‘I will check in with you again when you are done.’ 

These short and kind replies show a sense of maturity and friendliness. It is helpful to practise them at home so that they begin to feel natural and not forced. The tone of their voice matters just as much as the words they use. A calm and cheerful voice can show that your child is able to respect the space of others, without feeling hurt or offended themselves. 

Teach the Art of the ‘Pause and Return’ 

Explain to your child that ‘maybe later’ is not the end of the story; it is an invitation to wait and to try again in a thoughtful way. You could say, ‘When they say maybe later, let us give them some time. You can watch for when they finish their game or start something new, as that would be a good moment to ask again.’ This teaches them a sense of persistence without pressure, the perfect balance between confidence and courtesy. 

Focus on Finding Alternatives in the Meantime 

Children can feel more resilient when they have some backup plans. You can suggest that while they are waiting, they could start a small activity on their own, invite another child to play something simple with them, or even help a teacher to tidy up nearby. These quiet and proactive choices can help them to show a sense of self-respect. They also demonstrate to the other children that your child is patient and positive, which are qualities that can make their inclusion more likely next time. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the ability to handle a delay or a sense of uncertainty with grace is a reflection of a person’s inner faith. These ‘maybe later’ moments are a test of our patience, our humility, and our kindness, all of which are qualities that are praised by Allah Almighty. Teaching your child to respond in a kind way when others postpone their inclusion is an early and important lesson in sabr (patience) and husn al-dhann (having a good opinion of others). 

The Virtue of Patience in Waiting Without Resentment 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 2–3: 

‘Indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.’ 

This verse reminds us that our success in this life and the next lies not only in our belief and our good deeds, but also in our ability to practise patience, especially when things do not happen for us immediately. When your child hears the words ‘maybe later’ and is able to choose a response of kindness over one of frustration, they are embodying this divine guidance. They are learning that patience is not a passive waiting, but an active trust that their kindness and their effort will bring about a better moment in the future. 

The Prophetic Example of Gentle Perseverance 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but in both is good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek help from Allah, and do not lose heart.’ 

This hadith teaches us that strength in our faith includes a sense of persistence, of being able to try again with a full reliance on Allah Almighty and without a feeling of bitterness. For a child, being able to return to a group with a kind smile after hearing ‘maybe later’ is a small but powerful reflection of that same strength. It shows a sense of emotional steadiness and a faith-inspired perseverance. 

When your child learns to handle the phrase ‘maybe later’ with a calm sense of confidence, they are gaining more than just a social skill; they are developing an emotional maturity that is rooted in respect and trust. Each polite response and each patient wait helps to strengthen their sense of self-worth and teaches them that a sense of timing, not of force, is what brings true connection. 

As a parent, your own empathy and quiet coaching can help to turn these small moments of rejection into valuable opportunities for growth. Each time you help your child to pause, to breathe, and to try again with a sense of kindness, you are teaching them a form of resilience that is wrapped in grace. 

Through the combination of psychological wisdom and a spiritual grounding, your child can learn that true inclusion begins with a sense of self-respect. By waiting well and returning with warmth, they are modelling the kind of character that Islam cherishes: one of patience, dignity, and an unwavering sense of courtesy. In those moments when they finally hear a joyful ‘yes’, it will not just be a victory in their play, but the quiet reward of a heart that has learned to wait beautifully, trusting that all good things will come in their right and proper time.