What should they do when a friend whispers hints in an exam? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a friend whispers hints during an exam, your child faces a silent test of loyalty versus integrity. The impulse to respond is often emotional; they may fear appearing rude or ungrateful, yet maintaining their integrity requires both courage and composure. Your goal is to prepare them with calm strategies and inner strength before such a moment arrives. 

Normalise the Dilemma, Not the Dishonesty 

Begin the conversation with empathy, acknowledging the difficult position your child might find themselves in. You could say, ‘It is an uncomfortable situation when someone tries to help in the wrong way. You might not want to ignore your friend, but honesty has to come first.’ Validating this emotional conflict helps your child to process it without feeling panicked or guilty. 

Teach the Power of a Subtle Refusal 

Your child does not need to engage in a dramatic confrontation. You can coach them in brief, quiet, and respectful responses that protect their focus and integrity without drawing attention. A subtle refusal can be very effective. 

• A quiet, whispered, ‘I am okay, thanks.’ 

• A small, firm shake of the head without making eye contact. 

• Placing a finger on their lips and immediately refocusing on their paper. 

Practise these simple cues at home so they feel natural and automatic under pressure. 

Reframe Friendship Around Honour 

Discuss what it means to be a true friend. You can explain, ‘A real friend would want you to succeed honestly and would never put you in a position that risks your grades or your peace of mind.’ Help them understand that if a teacher were to notice, both students could face serious consequences. In this light, refusing the hint is not an act of betrayal but one of quiet protection for both of them. 

The Safety of Calm Non-Participation 

Children often feel a social pressure to reply out of politeness. Remind them that in this situation, silence is the safest and most respectful response. Even a whispered reply could implicate them in cheating. Teach them that staying focused on their own work is the best shield. 

Prepare for the Conversation After the Exam 

Coach your child on what to say if their friend questions them later. A calm, honest response can reset boundaries kindly but firmly. 

• ‘I could not risk getting either of us into trouble.’ 

• ‘It is really important to me that I earn my marks honestly.’ 

When your child shows such restraint, praise them privately for their strength and clarity. 

Build Emotional Anchors 

After the exam, talk about the feeling of relief that comes with being truthful. You could say, ‘That peace in your heart is a reward for your honesty.’ When they begin to associate integrity with a sense of inner calm rather than fear, they build resilience for future moral tests. 

Spiritual Insight 

Refusing whispered help during an exam is more than just following school rules; it is an act of taqwa—a profound awareness of Allah Almighty in unseen moments. Teaching a child to remain steadfast when only Allah is watching builds the moral core of their faith. 

Guarding Trust When Unseen 

Every test, including a school exam, is a form of trust (amanah) that must be honoured. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 27: 

‘O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).’ 

This verse reminds us that we are accountable for the trusts we are given. You can explain to your child, ‘Your exam paper is a trust from Allah. Keeping it clean and doing your own work is an act of loyalty to Him.’ This perspective transforms the refusal to cheat into an act of worship. 

Staying Truthful Under Pressure 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ emphasise that honesty is inseparable from true faith. 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al Masaabih, Hadith 55, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted, he betrays the trust.’ 

This hadith highlights the importance of being trustworthy. You can say, ‘When you protect your honesty in an exam, you are proving that you are trustworthy before Allah, even if no one else notices.’ Encourage your child to begin each test with the intention, ‘O Allah, please grant me clarity and truth in what I write.’ When they guard that trust, they build a heart that knows integrity as peace and sincerity as strength.