Parenting Perspective 

When community elders criticise a family’s choice to hold a modest celebration, it can place the parents under a great deal of unnecessary stress. They may feel judged for not meeting cultural expectations, even when their simpler approach is intentional and based on important values. This pressure can easily spill over into the home, where children are quick to sense their parents’ unease. 

The Pressure Created by Criticism 

Instead of feeling supported by their community, parents can be made to feel inadequate. This external judgment can distract them from focusing on the true purpose of the celebration, shifting their attention towards managing the opinions of others. 

The Impact on a Child’s Self-Worth 

Children who hear these criticisms may feel embarrassed or ashamed of their family’s simplicity. They can begin to associate a person’s worth with extravagance, wrongly thinking their family is ‘less’ because they do not host lavish events. Over time, this can blur their understanding of what dignity and success truly mean. 

The Strain on Family Relationships 

This criticism can also lead to tension between generations. Parents may feel forced to overextend themselves financially just to satisfy social expectations, creating stress and resentment. If children begin to adopt the opinions of the elders, it can weaken the trust between them and their parents. 

Strengthening Confidence in Simplicity 

Parents can guide their children through this by modelling a calm and assured response. Instead of reacting defensively to criticism, they can show dignity in holding firm to their principles. Explaining to children why modesty is a conscious choice, rooted in gratitude and faith, helps them to understand that simplicity is not a weakness but a strength. Creating joyful family traditions that revolve around prayer and togetherness reinforces the idea that true celebration is measured by meaning, not by expense. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that celebrations should be expressions of gratitude, not extravagance. When cultural expectations pressure families to overspend, it is important to remember that true blessings are found in sincerity and moderation, not in seeking the approval of others. 

The Quran’s Call to Moderation 

The Quran praises those who follow a balanced path in their spending, avoiding both wastefulness and stinginess. This moderation is presented as a hallmark of a true believer. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 67: 

‘And it is those people that do not spend extravagantly, nor miserly; and (act in such a way) that is a balanced format between these two (extreme characteristics).‘ 

This verse reminds families that a balanced approach carries more blessing than wasteful displays designed to impress people. 

The Prophetic Example of Modesty 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that even life’s most important milestones, like a wedding, can and should be honoured with simplicity. 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5155, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Hold a wedding feast, even if only with one sheep.’ 

This hadith shows that what matters to Allah is the sincerity behind the celebration, not its grandeur. 

Parents can frame criticism from elders as a valuable lesson in resilience. By showing children that Allah values humility and balance over excess, they can anchor their children’s hearts in a lasting sense of dignity. This approach ensures that modest celebrations become a source of family pride, allowing children to grow with the confidence that true honour lies in sincerity and faith, not in the fleeting approval of the community.