What should parents do if children play one parent against the other to get more screen time? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children are quick to notice any differences in their parents’ approach to rules and may try to exploit them by asking the more lenient parent for extra screen time. This tactic not only weakens established boundaries but can also create tension within the parental relationship. The solution lies not just in managing screen time, but in reinforcing unity and consistency as parents. 

Present a United Front 

Make an agreement with your spouse that all screen time rules will be decided together and presented to your children as a team. If one parent is approached for permission, a standard response should be: ‘Let me check with Mum/Dad, and we will give you an answer together.’ This simple step shows your children that they cannot divide you. 

Avoid Contradicting Each Other in Front of Children 

Even if you disagree with a decision your spouse has made, it is vital to save the discussion for a private moment. Openly arguing or contradicting each other undermines your collective authority and signals to your children that manipulation is an effective strategy to be used again. 

Clarify Rules in Advance 

Prevent ambiguity by creating a written set of rules for screen time that everyone can see. This should outline when screens can be used, for how long, and in what contexts. When the guidelines are clear and shared, children know the boundaries, and it is easier for both parents to enforce them consistently. 

Teach Children About Honesty and Respect 

Take the time to explain calmly that going from one parent to the other is both unfair and dishonest. You might say: ‘When you try to play us against each other, it hurts trust in our family. We need you to be honest with us so that we can trust you with more freedom as you grow older.’ 

By staying calm, united, and consistent, parents can teach their children that manipulation is an ineffective strategy, and that honesty and respect are the true paths to earning greater privileges. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great emphasis on truthfulness and unity within family life. It is vital for children to learn that integrity, rather than manipulation, is the true foundation of a trusting relationship. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Isra (17), Verses 23: 

‘And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents…’ 

This powerful verse reminds us that respecting and honouring parents is an essential component of faith, and their role is not something to be exploited for personal gain. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6094, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to speak the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads to the Fire’ 

This teaches the profound lesson that honesty is what builds a righteous character, while deceit, even in what may seem like small family matters, leads towards harm. 

By grounding household rules in the principles of fairness and truthfulness, parents teach their children a crucial lesson: that manipulation damages trust, while honesty brings blessings. In the long run, this approach strengthens not only discipline around devices but also the core of family unity and moral development.